Last-minute shoppers

For the greying, balding, wrinkling, and nose-hair-sprouting among us, men, here's a six-pack of reasons for reaching across …

For the greying, balding, wrinkling, and nose-hair-sprouting among us, men, here's a six-pack of reasons for reaching across the age abyss:

1. She'll keep you abreast of the latest cultural icons, cool trends, top tunes and groovy new buzzwords, daddy-o.

2. She'll revive that sagging libido of yours with just a pout.

3. She'll arrive without any baggage, just a small make-up bag of hopes and dreams.

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4. She'll find you interesting and intelligent, not like those silly, immature boys her own age.

5. She'll still look good in the morning.

6. Three little words: Catherine Zeta Jones.

Now here's the downside:

1. She'll want to go to Ibiza and dance all night to Darude, Delerium, Eiffel 65 and Alice Deejay; worse, she won't be able to name all four Beatles, even after the E wears off.

2. Your sisters will hate her and your brothers will make passes at her.

3. She'll get fed up carrying your musty old baggage, which by now is enough to cruise the world 10 times over.

4. She'll soon start to find you boring, dull and pedantic, not like those exciting, interesting boys her own age.

5. You won't look good in the morning.

6. Three little words: Chris De Burgh.

Kevin Courtney

Kevin Courtney

Kevin Courtney is an Irish Times journalist