"Why do we always come here? I guess we'll never know, It's like a kind of torture, to have to watch the show."

To the tune of the theme from the Muppet Show, Brighton fans question their own sanity, faithfully following a team that's less than brill.

"The football league is upside down, the football league is upside down, We're going up with the Crewe, the football league is upside down."

To the tune of When the Saints Go Marching In, supporters of Bristol City (bottom of division one) defy gravity and dream of promotion to the Premiership with Crewe (second from bottom).

"Ooh ahh, it's Ambrosia."

The same Bristol City fans, who don't have a player worth ooh-aahing about, extol the virtues of their city's most famous export.

"Oh Teddy, Teddy - went to Man United and won **** all."

Spurs fans, celebrating their League Cup win, send greetings to former player Teddy Sheringham from Wembley.