By my calculation I should have died before I was born. You may think that illogical or that I am not particularly good at maths. In truth, I may not excel at either but generally there is a modicum of sense to what I say and do. Not that I’d exaggerate that either.
But I read last month the results of a Cambridge University study, published in the respected medical journal the Lancet, which suggested that for every glass of wine or pint of beer imbibed over the daily recommended limit you will lose a half hour from your expected lifespan, if you are 40 or over.
Translated, it means anything over a bottle of wine or five pints a week could lead to an earlier death.
It’s not just me. If that is truly the case I know a whole lot of people who should have died before they too were born or we met. We’re all still here.
The killjoys know no limits. By now they appear to have proven that every little pleasure this side of the grave is life-threatening.
The truth is that without such pleasures life would hardly be tolerable.
The truth is there are many other studies which debunk this latest Lancet one on the utter badness of alcohol. A Harvard study has found that moderate drinking raises the levels of good cholesterol and protects against heart disease.
A study by the Catholic University of Campobasso in Italy found that moderate drinking can actually lengthen life. A study published in the Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment journal found that moderate drinkers were 23 percent less likely to develop Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia.
A University of East Anglia study found that moderate drinking reduced the risk of gallstones. A Carnegie Mellon University study in the US even found that moderate drinking made people less susceptible to the common cold.
Do I need to go on?
Okay, just one more. A University of West Australia found, contrary to the view of the Porter in Macbeth that "drinking stimulates desire but hinders performance" moderate drinking by men actually reduced the risk of erectile dysfunction by between 25 and 30 percent.
Still not convinced?
Okay then. My trump card. Among the world's leading non-drinkers are US President Donald Trump and Islamic terrorists!
Need I say anything more?
Wine from Latin vinum, Old English win, Old Irish fin.
inaword@irishtimes.com
