I was minding my own business, as is my wont, walking along when two young men passed by and one remarked to the other ‘... of course he was reared in a polyamorous house. You know, the parents had multiple partners’ ... and then they were out of earshot.
I had to stop myself from chasing them – and who could blame me? But, what would I say if they turned and demanded, “Can we help you?" Or something less polite. The natural coward in me won out, leaving a hole in the rest of my evening.
Then, there I was devouring a lunchtime ciabatta in a cafe-cum-restaurant when two elderly ladies at a nearby table were suddenly convulsed in uncontrollable laughter as one showed the other something on her mobile phone. I so wanted to see what was on that phone too, but, well, you know, and they laughed on and on.
I have not always been so unlucky. Back in the dim 20th century, I was in the much-missed Bewley’s on Dublin’s Westmoreland Street once when two other older ladies were just as overcome with laughter – but I had the very good fortune to overhear it all while studying my coffee with unusual intensity.
RM Block
One was telling the other about a visit to a mutual friend in hospital. The friend had chest pains and was rushed to hospital by her husband, who stayed with her until he had to go to work. Her pains eased and tests showed she was fine. She was moved to a less acute ward.
[ ‘They’ve got a lovely new vulva next door’: malapropisms for the agesOpens in new window ]
The husband arrived later that night to the ward where he had left her. In the bed was an unconscious woman who had just undergone an operation, with tubes and wires coming out of her. He was distraught, sobbed out his regret for not being a better husband and promised he would make up for all if she recovered.
This was witnessed by one of the women telling the story, then en route to the actual ward where his wife had been moved. She said nothing, but continued to find the wife marching around and lacerating the husband. “I could be dead for all that fella cares,” she said.
At which the two women in Bewley’s collapsed into further shrieks of laughter.
Overheard, from Old English oferhieran, "to hear beyond the intended range".
