Five tips for being a good leader – and listener

When your attention is elsewhere during a conversation, you risk sending a message that the speaker and his message is unimportant

Get over a need to talk or interject and adapt a mindset that will allow you to hear what’s being shared. If you believe you have all the answers, you simply have no reason to listen to others
Get over a need to talk or interject and adapt a mindset that will allow you to hear what’s being shared. If you believe you have all the answers, you simply have no reason to listen to others

Strong leaders tend to be characterised by a take-no-prisoners attitude, but it’s equally important for managers to be able to stand down and listen up. Here are some concrete ways to improve on this important skill.

1. Priority: get over the need to interject

Get over a need to talk or interject and adapt a mindset that will allow you to hear what’s being shared. If you believe you have all the answers, you simply have no reason to listen to others.

2. Get rid of distractions

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When your attention is elsewhere during a conversation, you risk sending a message that the speaker and his message is unimportant. Splitting your attention in such a way prevents you from getting the full picture; after all, you can’t pick up on facial expressions if your gaze is on your phone. Demonstrate that you are listening by silencing phones, darkening your desktop monitor and putting away anything that has the potential to distract you from the conversation at hand.

3. Look for nonverbal cues

People communicate in myriad ways, and many of them are nonverbal. Don’t let these cues pass by unaddressed. Acknowledge the information you’re receiving with questions like, “You seem excited about this, can you tell me more?” or “I get the sense that this upsets you, is there anything you need to share?”

4. Control your reactions

There are times when this is challenging, either because we disagree strongly or because the news is upsetting. Regardless of the information you receive, it’s just as important to maintain control over your body language as it is to notice the speaker’s.

5. Validate and verify

Leaders who are effective listeners validate and ask clarifying questions like, “Here’s what I thought you said; is that correct?” You don’t have to agree with what’s being said, but you can acknowledge and even express gratitude for the information. And always close the talk with a summary of points heard and next steps.

In association with Harvard Business Review