"Manchester City manager Joe Royle has ruled himself out of the England job sensationally vacated by his close friend Kevin Keegan."

Was Saturday's Manchester Evening News having a larf?

"I don't want to see him as a whinger and a dictator - I had more than enough of that with Margaret Thatcher. Perhaps we'll have a new television quiz show this winter - Who is Alex Ferguson Not Talking to Now? That'll be a long programme."

Brian Clough adds his name to Sir's hit list.

"Drink loads of beer and smoke lots of fags."

Leicester City's Gerry Taggart's advice to 300 school children when asked by one what he should do to become a better footballer.

"Getting over Martin O'Neill is proving very difficult for me and I don't know how long it will take me to recover. I have to hide the fact that I miss Martin as much as I do."

Leicester City's lovesick puppy, aka Neil Lennon.

"I am enjoying life in Birmingham. I have been honoured with an invite to turn on the Christmas lights in Sutton Coldfield."

David Ginola positively tingling with the glamour of it all.