World Cup TV View: They're unsure, it would seem, that he's fit for the World Cup, and even if he is, they doubt he's up to the task. Indeed, some of those who've been analysing his performances so far say it's beyond belief that he's still being picked for the team.
In that sense Ian Wright is the Ronaldo of punditry, he's getting dog's abuse this weather, if weekend reports on reaction to the BBC's coverage of the World Cup are anything to go by.
To top it all, Wrightie has inherited Jimmy Hill's crown as Scotland's most loathed English pundit. The Daily Record's Tam Cowan told us: "I received this newsflash from one of the boys in the pub on Thursday night. 'Ian Wright has died of a heart attack after celebrating England's 2-0 victory against Trinidad and Tobago. Doctors have described his condition as satisfactory'. Good cripes almighty, Wrightie, how could they be so cruel?
Mind you, he wasn't the only target for those who complained to the BBC about their pundits, apparently some protested they couldn't understand a word Gordon Strachan and Leonardo were saying.
Have to say, they sound all right to us, even if they can't understand each other, and many have remarked that Leonardo's English is probably superior to most of the viewers. This reminds us of the time Ron "Chopper" Harris complimented Claudio Ranieri on attempting to brush up on the lingo when he was at Chelsea: "At least he's learning to speak more better English."
So, everyone's getting a bit hot under the collar. On Saturday, Liam Brady responded thus to criticism of him calling African players naive: "If you don't call them naive you have to call them brainless".
"Naive" is grand Liamo, let's leave it at that. Although, in hindsight, you'd have to say we were naive in ever thinking the Czech Republic would beat Ghana.
Gilesie, meantime, is fully re-acclimatised since returning from Germany and, as we suspected, he's happy to be home. "John, you were there in Germany for the best part of a week, extraordinary collection of people from all over the world, a great atmosphere?" asked Billo. "Was it only a week, Bill?" he replied.
Croatia v Japan. For fear, perhaps, he'd be denounced if he dared to call the Japanese small, Jimmy Magee, who wanted to point out that, compared to the Croatians, the Japanese were in fact miniature poodles, returned to his first sporting love for assistance.
"You'll note the difference in size," he said. "And this is not one of the cliched things. I want you to think boxing. Not one of the Croatian team is below middleweight. Five of them would qualify for the heavyweight division and four of them are over a metre and ninety-three. I think, Mark, all the Japanese would qualify as either light welter or lightweight."
"I would have thought so," said Kinsella, Jimmy's sparring partner for the game, and funnily enough, as the rumble in the jungle that is Nuremberg limped towards a scoreless draw David Pleat, over on ITV, noted that the players "look like boxers who are just falling in to each other".
See what Jimmy "Boom Boom" Magee started? The sport of choice later in the afternoon on ITV was cricket. "That wasn't a save, that was a slip catch . . . we're bowled over by your presence . . . you can put your spin on it," chuckled Steve Rider. Yep, Shane Warne was the guest of honour for Australia v Brazil, and talk of googlies and such like left Ruud Gullit looking even more confused than Mike Gatting all those years ago when he was befuddled by that fantastical Warnie delivery.
Steve told Warnie that "watching Brazil is like watching England play cricket", so he obviously hadn't heard they'd lost to Sri Lanka at Lords. England that is, not Brazil. Back on RTÉ, Gilesie was intimating he was less than impressed by Brazil's display in their opening game. "If you didn't know it was Brazil the other night you'd think it was Australia - on a bad day," he said. Dunphy, too, had concerns, about the world champions, not least because "they're trying to accommodate two fat men up front". To which Adriano might well have said: "Oi, leave me out of it".
Half-time and it was 0-0, Warnie was content, although, shrinking violet that he is, suggested that "maybe Australia could go for the ball occasionally". "They're not going to win any World Cup," said Dunphy. Are we beginning to sense an England v Brazil final here?
But the skinny lad up front, Adriano, yorked Mark Schwarzer four minutes in to the second half, before his 88th minute replacement decided to kill off the game. Right, said Fred, 2-0.
"No doubt they'll be dancing in the streets of Rio," said Bill, "would you join them, John?" "I would Bill, but not for the football," said Johnny "Samba King" Gilesie.
