With all the queuing and the security and the stress and the delays and the tinny announcements that can barely be heard as they are mumbled over the public address system and the sometimes over-the-top restrictions on our civil liberties – restrictions that we would refuse to accept in the real world – it is easy to find reasons to give out about airports.
But for all their faults we'd be lost without them. And when you consider how many people they process each day – more than 400,000 people went through Dublin Airport over the June Bank Holiday weekend – and how hideously complex the entire business of flying actually is, they have to be acknowledged as among the most remarkably efficient operations in our world.
But airports are not only very good at getting us from A to B they are also incredibly skilled at getting us to open our wallets and part with cash we can sometimes ill-afford to spend. They frequently do this using techniques that most of us are unaware of.
Of course we often make it easy for them. We are ripe for the picking in the airport environment. We tend to be in good form – we’re heading on our holliers after all – and we most likely have a few bob in our pockets. We are also really bored.
It is a dangerous combination.
So, this summer, before you buy that cologne, those sunglasses, the ridiculous shorts, the silly gizmo, the massive Toblerone or the hazardously sized bottle of booze you should ask yourself three questions: Do you really need it? Is it good value? And will it make your life better?
Next time you are in an airport – any airport – try to get from security to your gate without walking through duty free and see how you get on
The answer is almost always going to be no.
But they are not the only questions we have. And some of the answers might go some way to explaining why we lose the run of ourselves in airports.
Airports aren’t really designed to get us to spend money, are they?
They absolutely are. Obviously they are in the business of transporting people to other parts of the world and that is central to their design. But the next most important thing they do is make money from travellers passing through their doors. While airports such as Dublin Airport will insist that they use the cash generated by our sometimes ridiculous airport shopping sprees to make things more efficient and to reduce the airport charges we all have to pay, they all still work very hard at getting us to spend money on stuff that we don’t need.
What are you talking about?
You know how all the processes aimed at getting you through check-in have been automated and speeded up in recent years with bag drops and self-check kiosks now found everywhere? You might think they have all been put in place to make your life easier but they are actually there because airports want us to get through the cumbersome and costly check-in process as fast as possible so we can get down to the serious business of spending money sooner. For every minute a person spends in an airport shopping zone they will spend more money. And if a busy airport processing well over 100,000 passengers every day can get everyone into the shops 10 minutes faster then it will quickly see a big return for its efforts.
What is the Golden Hour?
When Pricewatch were a lad, the only golden hour we had in our lives was the 60 minutes Larry Gogan used to set aside to play classic hits. Good times. But in airport-speak, the Golden Hour has less to do with Abba's Waterloo and more to do with money, money, money. The Golden Hour is the time you have to kill after you get through security and before you board your plane. That is when you spend the most money. It is sometimes called the Dwell Zone – although that sounds a bit sinister to us.
When does the Golden Hour start?
Pretty much the second you have been given the all-clear by the security staff monitoring the x-ray machines. Once you have been given the good-to-go nod you will find yourself in an small area which has been designed to allow you reassemble yourself and your belongings. This space looks inconsequential but it is important for the airport because it is when your get yourself together after the stress of security and it is the place where you become calm and composed before you enter the next phase of your journey.
What phase is that?
As soon as you turn the corner and leave the security zone you are assaulted by brightly lit shops and restaurants. The move from security to shopping is virtually instant. And that means the shops are impossible to avoid. There will be clothes shops and cosmetics shops and a pharmacy and the gadget shop and the tech shop and the sunglasses shop. And after you have made your way through that first cluster and are racing towards your gate you will be hit with the long and winding road through duty free.
Next time you are in an airport – any airport – try to get from security to your gate without walking through duty free and see how you get on. James Joyce once challenged people to find a path across Dublin that did not pass a pub. Well we challenge you to find a path across Dublin Airport that does not pass at least one stall selling whiskey. It can't be done.
But I don’t have to follow the set paths do I?
If you want to get to where you need to be you do. Airports are designed to funnel people along a small number of pre-determined routes and no deviation is allowed. And speaking of paths, next time you are in an airport pay attention to the direction the airport paths go in. Almost always, they will curve to the left. That is not an accident. Most of us are right handed and if the paths we are on veer from right to left, it gives airport retailers the opportunity to position more stock to our right. That is the side we tend to look towards when we are walking left.
Anything else about the path most travelled?
As it happens, there is. You will also notice that the routes from security to airport gates are tiled while waiting areas are frequently carpeted. This is because tiles are more hard wearing – obviously – and can stand up to more traffic. But there is another reason carpets are found in some sections of airports. When carpets are installed in seating areas they help to muffle the sounds and make us relax and the more relaxed we are the more money we spend.
So our relaxation is important to the airport then?
It is crucial. Many airports have massage chairs, mini-spas, showers and all the rest not because they want to make our time with them better but because they want us to feel more inclined to shop with them. So you might stop for a random neck massage and then walk, blissed out, straight into the arms of a perfume salesman.
It is also worth noting that these mini-treats are becoming increasingly important because technology has made it easier for people to zone out in airports. With free wifi or good 4G and a smartphone or tablet it is easier than ever to find distractions on our devices so the challenge facing airports is to give us things to do away from our devices so they can show us all the ways we could be spending money.
Why is it that screens don’t tell me exactly what gate I am boarding through until minutes before I am to board?
It is increasingly common for airports not to tell us which gate we need to go to until just before our flight is ready for boarding. That is not because they don't know where our planes are parking. They are incredibly efficient and could probably tell you exactly what gate that Ryanair plane bound for Edinburgh at 8am on November 21st will be leaving from right now. They like to keep us in suspense because they want to keep us shopping for longer. If we don't know where we have to go then we have to stay in the shopping spaces. Airport authorities will say that they sometimes keep this info from us because they want to keep boarding gates clear but we reckon it's mainly so they can maximise their profits.
And why do they tell us how long it is to walk to our gate?
Again this is to keep you shopping for longer. If the airport assures you there is a 10 minute walk to your gate from the shopping zone or restaurant then you won’t set off for your gate 20 minutes too early and waste all that valuable spending time.
What is the story with Toblerones? Why are they always so prominent in airports?
Apart from the fact they are a deliciously choclately treat you mean? Airports know that a huge amount of our spending in their halls of commerce is driven by impulse. We are bored and we are in a spending frame of mind and that makes us vulnerable. There are – we suspect – very few people who travel to any airport with a view to buying Toblerones. Yet they still sell by the truckload because they are so instantly recognisable and have such resonance amongst fliers.
What about the trinkets and souvenirs?
Again, these are almost exclusively impulse purchases and they are also frequently hideously expensive ones. The reason why airports all over the world are crammed to the rafters with ridiculous tourist tat that would make the buyer at Carroll’s blush is because they know people buy that stuff. We don’t buy it because it is of any value or because anyone we know wants it, we buy it because it is shoved in front of our faces and we are acting on impulse.
What about suitcases? Why does every airport have a suitcase shop?
Arguably the worst place to have a suitcase shop is in an airport where people have little or no need for suitcases. Such shops probably sell some wheelie suitcases to people who have broken their own as they have made it through the airport. They might sell some others to people who have bought too much tat during the golden hour. They are also a handy way for suitcase makers to advertise their wares to people who have luggage to the fore of their minds. Even if they don’t buy immediately they might buy at another point.
Why am I asked to show my boarding pass when buying chewing gum in Boots?
It is ridiculous. And you can’t be compelled to show it unless you are attempting to buy duty-free products such as tobacco and alcohol. Passengers are routinely asked for boarding cards when making any purchase and Dublin Airport says they use they information as market research to work out what routes are most popular and what kind of items are most frequently bought amongst particular cohorts of travellers. Another reason is money. Retailers who operate in international airports can maximise their profits by scanning boarding passes and using the information to claim VAT back from passengers who travel outside of the EU even though they do not have to pass rebates back to customers. Under EU law retailers can claim back VAT on sales to those leaving the EU but they have to process boarding cards in order to claim it. Around 20 per cent of passengers who fly through Dublin Airport are travelling to destinations outside the EU.
Are airport shops always cheaper?
Not even remotely. Although there are some bargains in airports, it would be a mistake to assume that just because the pair of sunglasses you have your eye on are on selling in an airport concourse they must be cheaper than the ones in Brown Thomas. They might be cheaper but they might be dearer so it would be foolish to shop on auto pilot. The easiest thing to do is do a price comparison using your phone. You should be able to work out if something is good or bad value in a matter of seconds.
Are there things I should avoid spending money on?
Well, it does depend on the airport and other variables. Electronics are rarely good value for money in airport shops, the food is frequently overpriced and underwhelming. The souvenirs and vacuum packed food items are often spectacularly bad value for money – while the small round of Edam you see selling in Schipol for a tenner might look lovely, you can buy the same cheese in Tesco for a quarter of the price – and the neck pillows are always overpriced as well. Earphones and children's toys are best avoided too. Although we're not completely divorced from reality and sometimes a judiciously purchased toy or sticker book that will keep small hands occupied for even a few minutes of a bumpy flight is money incredibly well spent.
