So much – if not all – of our communication is digital and off the cuff these days. A quick text, a brief email, a humorous emoji under someone’s social media post.
Yet Christmas is a time when heartfelt greetings are exchanged, often in the form of a card. While we may not send them in the volumes we once did, this year An Post will handle millions of them.
“Ireland has always had a higher rate of personal mail than other countries in Europe,” says Anna McHugh, An Post head of communications.
“It is said that this is because we are an island nation with a tradition of emigration and that practically everyone had some close relations outside the country with whom they wanted to maintain regular, personal contact.” Ireland’s strong literary tradition is also cited as a reason why Irish people value so highly personal greetings in letters and card, she adds.
An Post handles up to one million letters a day throughout the year, but in the weeks leading up to Christmas this number doubles and trebles as people get into the Christmas mood and go through the annual rituals of the festive season.
Sending Christmas cards offers an opportunity to reach out, reconnect and reconcile, says Stephanie O’Regan, clinical psychotherapist. Doing so can be good for both parties.
“Christmas is a time for connection,” says O’Regan. “So many of us still send cards – they are so personal and lovely to receive. Christmas for many people is still religious but really it has become a special family time, surrounding yourself with the ones you love and Christmas cards play an important part in that.”
The special thing about Christmas cards, says O’Regan, is that they offer a point of reflection in the year – choosing who to send them to, and what to say, which can dredge up a lot of emotions.
“Writing cards or even writing your list, you find yourself thinking of the year, who you’ve seen, who you haven’t seen, who is important in your life,” says O’Regan. “Writing that Christmas card list makes you think about who you value and what you value about them. It’s a very mindful exercise.”
And the people you value are not necessarily the people you see every day, O’Regan notes. “It may have been someone who was important to you at one single point in your life and Christmas offers an opportunity to reach out to them. And connections don’t always have to be reciprocated for them to be of value.”
Taking the time to write a personal and considered message on the cards can be very therapeutic, she adds. “Writing is always different. The act of writing and act of doing it gives an uptick in mood, not only for the giver but the receiver. A personal message, maybe recalling a time you spent together or asking them about a specific thing – it brings it to another level.”
As Christmas is synonymous with family, it can be difficult for people who have fallen out with family members, says O’Regan. Trying to reconcile ahead of time can be on people’s minds and a Christmas card or letter may allow them to articulate their feelings more clearly.
“As Christmas approaches, people are thinking of who is going to be at the various get-togethers. They may decide to reach out and try to make up.” O’Regan warns, however, that these attempts may not always be successful. Don’t beat yourself up over it, she says. “Reconciling isn’t always the right thing to do. Sometimes it’s not worth reconciling; maybe it’s worth just getting on with it. Sometimes it’s absolutely the right thing to do but I wouldn’t be thrusting it upon people just because it is Christmas. You have to navigate each situation carefully. Accept that the other person must also be ready to reciprocate and respect everyone’s timing. It might have taken you some time to get to the point of being able to do the reach out but maybe the other person isn’t quite there yet.”
Some things should never be put in writing. “You have to be very careful when writing something down as the anger and the hurt can leak through,” says O’Regan. “Writing the card or message can dredge up all kinds of emotions. Sometimes it’s better to write a letter for your eyes only, so that you can articulate your emotions but don’t send it.”
A selection of Enagh Farrell cards can be found in Irish Design Shop on Drury Street, Brookwood Pottery in Marino, and Small Changes in Inchicore, Dublin; Forest & Flock in Bantry, and The Loft Gallery & Frames in Clonakilty, Co Cork; and Pax Wholefoods & Eco Goods in Westport, Co Mayo. enaghfarrell.com
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