Mickey Rooney, who has died aged 93 was married eight times. While his eight marriages cost him lots of money they also provided him plenty of material for jokes. Here are some of his comments on marriage:
“Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.”
“I have so many wives and children that I don’t know which house to go to first on Christmas.”
“I’m the only man in the world with a marriage license made out to whom it may concern.”
“When I say, ‘I do,’ the justice of the peace replies, ‘I know, I know.’”
“Pumping gas into another man’s car.” - Rooney’s definition of alimony.
In a more serious mood, he once said: “Nobody’s proud about having eight wives ... You’re supposed to marry your childhood sweetheart and go off into the sunset ... saying, ‘It’s forever, darling.’ It doesn’t work out like that and every marriage and every divorce are like a five-car crash.”