The Netherlands is, with the best will in the world, not the most thrilling country to visit. Yes, if (like me) you're a history buff, you could visit Arnhem and marvel at the sheer size of the famous bridge that was too far for the Allied armies in September of 1944. Amsterdam is, in parts, very pretty.
But not necessarily exciting, dynamic, thrilling. If you want to visit a country that’s pleasant and easy going then this is your destination. Somewhere to thrill and amaze? Perhaps not . . .
Perhaps too, the fact that VW chose Amsterdam as the launch site for the new Touran should have told us something of the car before we ever drove it. Safe, sensible, family-friendly, ecologically conscious, lacking just a little in excitement. At least Amsterdam has its red light district to add a whiff of naughtiness.
But then the Touran was simply never, ever going to be naughty. VW may be able to provide us with cars as exciting as the Golf GTI and R, or the space-age XL-1 fuel-sipper, but the Touran just doesn’t come under the purview of that kind of customer.
Like all MPVs, it’s a car you buy because you need it, because you have to, because you just couldn’t stop yourself having more kids.
This is the fate of all MPVs, really – to be the automotive equivalent of an Ecco shoe. When the days of wearing Converse or Prada are behind you, this is what you strap on.
Kudos then to VW for making the Touran as painless as possible, and as practical as possible into the bargain. I may be a red-blooded motoring hack who craves American V8s and Italian V12s, but I’m also a dad, with two growing boys and I can well appreciate the sheer amount of space the Touran offers.
It’s 130mm longer than the outgoing one, and 110mm of that is stretched between the axles, so there’s a lot of room for stretching out in the cabin. With the front passenger seat pushed fully back on its runners, there was still tolerable room in the rear seats. Arrange things slightly more sensibly, and no medium-sized family should ever feel pinched or pushed for space in a Touran.
Child safety
It comes with the oh-so-important three individual seats across the back in the middle row (crucial for child safety seats). All of those seats, and the two folding seats in the boot, come with ISOFIX anchors for those child safety seats. This is bliss, from a family point of view.
Bliss too in the shape, space and depth of a massive boot. All Irish market Tourans are going to come with seven seats as standard (there is a five-seat version in Europe, but the presence of the Golf SV makes that rather redundant) and with five seats up and two seats down, there is a whopping 743 litres of luggage space. You can fire folded up tandem buggies at this thing all day and it will swallow them easily.
Fold all the seats down and you’ve got knocking on for 2,000 litres, so moving house with a Touran seems easily possible. Those rearmost seats are, as is usual for the class, a little tight for adults, but the one-handed folding mechanism makes them easy to live with and kids should fit fine.
Up front, you’ll revel in the comfort and the sheer quality. Anyone who’s driven a Golf will feel right at home with the sensible control layout and the clear dials. Anyone who’s driven the Golf SV will recognise the slightly awkward driving position (made worse by the fact that VW models based on the MQB chassis have done away with the lovely old organ-style throttle pedal – the top-hinged pedals make you sit too close and upright for ultimate comfort). Visibility out is pretty good though, and VW says that there are 48-separate storage compartments, although at least one of those was taken up by an SD card and CD player in our test car.
You can have all sorts of high-tech options, including the rather clever Trailer Assist, which helps you back up a caravan or similar in a tight spot, while specced-up versions of the touch-screen infotainment system feature mobile phone-friendly MirrorLink, Apple Car Play and Android Auto.
Rather worryingly, there’s also an app that allows the rear seat passengers (ie your kids) to control the music and the sat-nav from a tablet or phone. Please, please tell me there’s a button (preferably a large, red one) that switches that option off . . .
To drive, the Touran is . . . well, entirely predictable. It's smooth and comfy, and there's nothing here that's going to shock or upset. The steering feels fluid and well weighted, but not engaging, the ride is soothing and it's nice and quiet. Our test car was the 150hp 2.0-litre TDI diesel and it's as quiet and hushed as a modern engine should be, but you'll probably be just as happy with the 1.6 120hp TDI, which VW says will be the best-seller in Ireland. It'll be very safe too, with automatic post-collision braking system as standard, as well as the pre-crash "proactive" occupant protection system.
Decent fuel economy
The fact that VW has taken 62kg of weight out of the car compared with the outgoing Touran means it should offer decent fuel economy. VW says efficiency has been improved by 19 per cent, but I’d say the 62mpg claim is a bit fictional – low 50s is probably achievable though. CO2 emissions are 115g/km for the 1.6 and 2.0 litre diesels – impressive for such a big bus.
And that's what it is – a big bus. Not exciting, not dynamic, not remotely interested in being the choice of the enthusiast. It will be the choice of the harassed family driver though, and perhaps VW deserves more kudos for taking on that task, and doing so with such efficient aplomb, than Ferrari should for turning out yet another waist-high road-rocket. Tulips, anyone?
The lowdown: VW Touran 2.0 TDI 150hp Comfortline
Price: TBC. Range starts at €29,500
Power: 150hp
Torque: 340Nm
0-100km/h: 9.3sec
Top speed: 208km/h
Claimed economy: 4.5l/100km. (62.7mpg)
CO2 emissions: 115g/km
Motor tax: €200
