Unfortunately rape culture is not a myth. I never considered it could be a myth. However; as I am part of a generation that spends the majority of time online, it can feel like we live in the politically correct haven.
However; when a friend calls me at 2am to tell me she had to console a bawling international student on her walk home from college, I am shaken to my senses and I realise that rape culture is all around me.
This visiting student had been sexually assaulted by a taxi driver in a fifteen-minute taxi journey from Limerick city. Something tells me this girl wasn’t the first. Worse, she probably isn’t the last.
Stories like this remind me that rape is close to home.
It’s not just a statistic, it’s not limited to a weapon of war and the stark reality of it is that 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime. Four women: 2 sisters, a girlfriend and a mother?
Statistically; it has happened or it will happen to one of them. After hearing stories like this from friends, seeing Brock Turner's victim's statement and reading books such as Asking For It.
It becomes very clear to me that I am lucky that I have never been one of the one in four. I have never had to be so brave as to speak candidly about sexual assault in a courtroom. My identity has never had to have been protected, and I have never been questioned on my sexual history or drinking habits in front of my rapist as if this would somehow excuse the rapist.
Should I feel lucky that a rapist’s father has never belittled the most horrifying experience of my life to ’20 minutes of action.’? Once the strange fortunate feeling subsides, I feel something else entirely. Terrified. What if I have yet to become one of the one in four?
Sometimes I get taxis by myself, sometimes I get drunk and sometimes its simply inevitable that I will be left alone with a man. Soon, I will start driving lessons. I am not afraid of car accidents, I am not afraid of failing my test, I am afraid of being sexually assaulted because I will be alone in the car with a man.
In August, I will move abroad for an Erasmus programme. I will be in a country that is not my home, I will be vulnerable, I will be an easy target. Whilst I am fairly protected at home, surely there’s going to be times when I will have to walk home by myself, maybe I’ll have to take taxis alone, it will be unavoidable and it seems that all I can do is to hope to remain to be one for the three in four. Rape culture is ever-present in 2016. I see this online with victim blaming, denial and overly- lenient sentences however it truly hits home when I discover how regularly it happens around me and I begin to wonder if I’m lucky.
A woman feeling lucky that she has not been personally violated is surely a sign of serious societal problem. The dark reality of the matter is that while many still argue about the need for consent classes women will continue to be raped and it seems that all we can do is hope it won’t be you next.
