There is a ridiculous conspiracy theory doing the rounds that the once-great national rugby team of New Zealand, those black clad warriors that have terrorised their opponents for over a century, are finished. Washed-up. Kaput.
A cabal of rugby’s Illuminati-believing scribes are saying that four consecutive defeats at the hands of the Springboks is living proof that the Kiwis are in as much mortal danger as some would have you believe a stray puppy is in Springfield, Ohio.
The Kiwi rugby media live in a binary system. Either their national team dominates the globe or they are a complete shambles.
The learnings we can take from this false theory that New Zealand are no longer a rugby world superpower is that opinions are like backsides.
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Everybody has one.
The truth is that New Zealand rugby is not in a state of devastation. It is just that the Springboks are the best team in the world and New Zealand are now number two.
With Saturday’s Bledisloe Cup test being played in the sunshine of a Spring afternoon at Sydney’s Olympic Stadium, the conspiracy theory that New Zealand are wounded, weak and deeply vulnerable could not have come at a worse time for Joe Schmidt and his Wallabies.
The last thing the Australians need is for the Kiwis to get worked up that somehow they have to prove they are not has-beens.
In a situation drowning in irony at the Wallabies prematch press conference, days after suffering their greatest defeat at the hands of the Pumas, the confused Australians were peppered with questions about the weakness of this Kiwi team.
Tom Wright, the Australian fullback, had the misfortune to pull the short straw and be the Wallaby player at the press conference.
A journalist asked Wright about how Australia must be seeing the obvious weaknesses in the Kiwis.
Wright’s facial expression resembled that of Kamala Harris as she listened to “The Donald” explaining his relationship with the leader of the Taliban.
Like the American vice-president, Tom’s face expressed the question, “What planet are you living on?”
“Ahh ... well ...” stumbled Wright, “They are the second best team in the world.” And of course, Tom is correct. The World Cup is the only true measure of the global rugby market. All other metrics are meaningless.
The Springboks are back-to-back world champions because their team is packed with a collection of superior athletes, with almost zero weaknesses, led by a brilliant coach who has created a culture that has maximised their collective talent.
That said, their World Cup final victory was by a single point, against a 14-man New Zealand team. Hardly an obliteration. Then, in the first test in Johannesburg, the margin was the awarding of a highly-controversial Springbok try. New Zealand are behind the Boks – but not by much.
What the Kiwi doomsayers are not admitting is that all four games were sensational contests. Dramatically close, full of skill, passion and entertainment.
If we twist the New Zealand rugby media’s logic on its head and consider that in their last five meetings Ireland have defeated South Africa four times, only a fool would suggest that the Springboks are in deep trouble.
Here is the truth. The margins between the top five teams across the globe are paper-thin. Which is great for our game.
The other lie surrounding the non-demise of New Zealand rugby is that at the Super Rugby level, the Kiwis are only playing against the weakness of Australian rugby, while the South Africans are benefiting from the joys of the United Rugby Championship (URC).
Firstly many of the current Springbok squad play in Japan, England and France, so they do not play in the URC.
However, unlike the Kiwis and the Australians, South Africa selects their team from all competitions.
Australia and New Zealand only select players from their Super Rugby franchises.
All four Australian Super Rugby teams defeated a New Zealand team in this year’s Super competition. So, to suggest the Kiwis are not getting competition from the Australian teams is false.
Those telling us about the dominance of the South African provincial teams should be reminded that both Munster and Glasgow have defeated South African teams in South Africa in successive years to win the URC.
The simplified explanation that New Zealand is in decline does not take into account that this group of Springboks have a deep relationship with their coach, stretching back nine seasons.
Just as the fabulous New Zealand World Cup-winning teams of the past had a powerful relationship with their long-term coaches Graham Henry and Steve Hansen, so do the Boks believe in the leadership of Rassie Erasmus, who has been at the helm of the Springboks since February 2018, winning two World Cups and a Lions series.
New Zealand’s Scot Robinson, Australia’s Schmidt and the Pumas’ Felipe Contepomi have each been the head coach of their national team for only six matches.
This Saturday at the Sydney Olympic Stadium black will meet gold, as it has done since 1903.
The men in gold scrapping and fighting to stay in touch with their stronger opponents. The black team will emerge from the ritual of their haka, brimming with aggression and confidence. Believing, as they have always done, that New Zealand is superior.
Across this long and at times deeply bitter rivalry, Australians have never taken the knee before the altar of the black jersey. Yet more than any other team in the world the Wallabies understand that if you disrespect the New Zealanders, then you will pay a high price for that folly.
While this struggling Wallaby team acknowledges that the Springboks are worthy world champions, they understand that New Zealand were only a single point away from lifting the William Webb Ellis trophy.
That is a fact that the Wallabies respect. So too should the rest of the rugby world.
