We can become tremendously spoilt by the number of sporting events that are shown live on our tellies to the point where we’re aghast when one we want to see isn’t. Mind you this can occasionally be a blessing. If, for example, the recent fancy dress showjumping event in Wallaby Hill near Sydney had been beamed to us live we’d have witnessed a rider competing in a mankini. And who wants to see that?
In case you missed this news three-time Olympic medallist Shane Rose has been “stood down from competition” for now because he performed in a fluorescent orange mankini at the event, Equestrian Australia investigating his attire after at least one complainant found it offensive. “Potentially no one has done it on a horse before,” said Rose, which is highly likely to be true.
Back in the day Sepp Blatter suggested female footballers wear tighter shorts to boost the popularity of the game – it seems Shane is trying to do something similar for showjumping.
But that’s by the by, the absence of Shane’s mankini from our screens simply coming to mind while peering into a laptop with severe buffering issues on Sunday afternoon while watching Daniel Wiffen doing his thing at the World Aquatics Championships. Safe to say the boy’s a bit special.
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Bobby Hurley, one of our commentators on Eurovision Sport and a former world record holder in this swimming business, presumed all of Ireland was glued to their tellies watching Daniel. But not even Eurosport, which is usually a safe enough bet to show us things outside of football, football, rugby and football, bought the race to us, them being too busy focusing on biathlon and cross-country skiing, paying a lot more heed to the telly-viewing desires of their Scandinavian viewers than our own. We won’t forget, Eurosport.
No matter, each time the buffering desisted our Daniel was another heap of metres ahead of his rivals, the graphics showing him tug a Tricolour out of their sight. “This is a mighty, mighty performance,” said Bobby, although his Australian companion complained that the cameras weren’t focusing on the battle for silver and bronze, Daniel so far ahead the gold was home and hosed. To which all of buffered Ireland said, “keep yer cameras where they are”.
Daniel’s triumph was so emphatic he almost had time to get his breath back by the time that silver/bronze battle ended, although he was hardly out of the pool when he had to chat idly with Eurovision Sport. After a nigh on interminable race, as the 1,500m tends to be, he was still able to describe how chuffed he was, this being his second gold in a handful of days, so chilled is this lad, you’d reckon he’s not even bothered by the pressure of us preparing post-Paris open top bus parades already.
In many ways Daniel is the David Clifford of swimming. “Wouldn’t you know it,” as Ger Canning put it when the Kerry man hit that winning point in Tralee on Saturday evening in the dying seconds of their league meeting with Mayo. “Cometh the moment, cometh the man.”
Peter Canavan, on RTÉ punditry duty, reckoned we are guilty of taking this man for granted, so accustomed have we become to him doing magical things. He’s not wrong, of course, and Canavan – or “caravan”, as this auto-corrector will never stop insisting is his name – knows better than most about doing magical footballing things.
Need it be said we could do with a Republic of Ireland lads manager capable of performing a bit of magic himself, but the FAI’s chimneys must be in need of a sweep, divil a sign of white smoke since November when they parted company with Stephen Kenny.
But, Neil Lennon told us on Premier Sports ahead of their coverage of Burnley v Arsenal, the white smoke is “imminent” – “whether that be today, tomorrow, or the next couple of days”. Come Sunday we were told Lennon had been ruled out as a contender, which possibly means it’ll either be Lee Carsley, Philippe Troussier, Sam Allardyce or Vera Pauw. Or – hold it – Chris Coleman? Shane Rose is not so far appearing in the betting, but if he can showjump in a mankini surely he’s capable of anything?
