Tony Cantwell on ADHD: ‘I just thought is this what parenting is, a big fog?’

Gentle parenting, neurodivergence and scheduling 'the ride'

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Tony Cantwell:  RTE player series Good Boy written and stars the comedian and father of two
Tony Cantwell: RTE player series Good Boy written and stars the comedian and father of two

Having a son and a daughter has given comedian, Tony Cantwell, the opportunity to explore some of life’s big questions.

Things like, is gender just a social construct? What’s it like raising children when you’re neurodivergent? How do you gentle parent if a child has decided not to cooperate, today?

And how much time spent pooing is deemed acceptable in the quest for me-time?

The comedian, who created and stars in the new RTE player comedy series, Good Boy, has a 4 and a quarter year old son, and a daughter who is nearly two.

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In this episode of Conversations with Parents, host Jen Hogan sits down with father of two, to hear his thoughts on these issues.

On the podcast, he discusses the reality of managing the challenges that go hand in hand with having ADHD, while trying to be a present parent to his young children and all that that entails.

He talks about the impact that being a child of divorced parents, and his own upbringing, has had on him.

And he explains why he and his wife, Terri, have chosen to gentle parent their children, and what gentle parenting actually looks like in practice.

Cantwell also discusses the extreme lengths he’ll go to, to avoid needing to change vomit-soaked bedsheets, co sleeping, and how scheduling “the ride” becomes a necessary evil when you’re parenting young children.

“We’re looking to spoon again, me and my wife”, he explains. Adding that at least when it comes to co-sleeping, he’ll be able to say “I never let you cry. I was literally there for every moment that you needed me.”

Cantwell also shares his experience of becoming a father in Covid restrictions times; explains why he was concerned that he was experiencing male post-partum depression; and offers his thoughts on other modern parenting phenomena.

You can listen to this episode in the player above or search Conversations with Parents wherever you get your podcasts.

Jen Hogan

Jen Hogan

Jen Hogan, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes about health and family