The trial of Dominique Pelicot, the 71-year old man accused of drugging, raping and facilitating the rape of his wife by more than 50 other defendants, has shocked people across the world. The sheer number of men involved, the long period over which the abuse took place and the dehumanisation of an unconscious victim have triggered protests in France and sickened the wider global community.
Reactions to the trial reflect the palpable sense of dread and worry among some women that nowhere is safe. This is because Gisèle Pelicot was raped in what many people think is the safest place – her home. She was raped for almost a decade in her own bed by her own husband and allegedly by scores of other men – outwardly ordinary, upstanding members of the community.
The profile of the accused men – nurses, IT professionals, fire officials – shows us once again that the stereotype of who a rapist might be is often off the mark. If our own history tells us anything, it’s that some of the worst and most prolific abusers can hide in plain sight, as they did on our pulpits, in our schools and on our playing fields.
Gisèle Pelicot defies stereotypes people may hold of victims of sexual violence. She walks into court every day and articulates clearly that she has no shame, that all the disgrace must lie with the perpetrators, and that other survivors should know they are not alone. We wholeheartedly agree with her and we hope her words of support and solidarity reach those who need to hear them.
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Her experience will be horrifyingly familiar to some people here in Ireland. In Dublin Rape Crisis Centre, we regularly support people, mostly women, who have woken to find themselves being assaulted either by a stranger or by someone known to them. We know from data recorded by the sexual assault treatment units in Ireland that a growing number of their patients disclose concern that they have been the victim of a drug-facilitated assault.
Survivors often share with us that they are unsure whether they were somehow responsible for what has happened to them in these circumstances. We are categorical in our response: you are in no way to blame, what happened to you was wrong, and we believe you.
In Ireland, our Government has acknowledged that an epidemic of sexual violence exists, with national statistics showing one in two women and one in four men will experience some form of it in their lifetime. Police in England and Wales have declared violence against women a “national emergency”. In this context, while women do what they can to stay safe in going about their lives, we should be clear that the responsibility does not lie with them. Women should have the expectation that they can live a life free from sexual violence and not have to put limitations on their lives to try to achieve it.
When taxi driver Raymond Shorten was sentenced for rape over the summer, Mr Justice Paul McDermott outlined his concern at this limitation of women’s freedom: “Women too often become the subject of sexual or other forms of physical violence or the threat of it when they go out to simply enjoy themselves. It indicates an underlying unhealthy attitude towards women and their fundamental rights in any society, if their sense of freedom and security in doing normal things is so compromised.”
Girls are told from a young age that the world is not safe and advised on how to navigate it by imposing controls on their behaviours: how they dress, how much they drink, who they mix with and how they get home. The truth is that none of these precautions would have protected Gisèle Pelicot from the rapist in her home; again, the crux of the issue is that the onus cannot be on women and girls to find ways to avoid being raped. The focus must shift to how violence against women and girls can be eliminated.
There is an opportunity for more men to campaign and speak out against all forms of sexual violence, to be visible advocates and positive role models. This involves understanding, teaching and practising the message of consent, calling out friends and family members when their talk and actions do not meet the standards women and girls deserve, and being active members of a growing movement of men who are standing up and speaking out about their intolerance of violence against women.
The eradication of all forms of sexual violence is what the majority of men want but we need their strength of voice to match their strength of numbers. This could have a significant effect in changing the culture in which sexual violence thrives.
Many people have wondered how and why the large number of people implicated in the rape of Gisèle Pelicot could have kept quiet over such a long period of time. This will probably be a question that is considered for a long time after the conclusion of this trial.
In Ireland, now is perhaps an opportunity for self-reflection and to ask if in our own lives, we are doing everything we can to end sexual violence. It will only be when violence against women is eliminated that true equality can be achieved. It will need all of us to take part to make this seismic change in our culture. This must be part of the courageous and inspiring legacy of Gisèle Pelicot and the many others who have spoken out against sexual violence.
Rachel Morrogh is chief executive of Dublin Rape Crisis Centre. Free, confidential and non-judgmental support for anyone affected by sexual violence is available on the 24-hour national helpline 1800 778888
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