And on the 132nd day, just after midnight, American president Donald Trump had at last delivered the nation to something approaching unity – in bewilderment, if nothing else.
The state of our union was . . . covfefe. The trouble began, as it so often does, on Twitter, in the early minutes of Wednesday morning. Trump had something to say. Kind of.
“Despite the constant negative press covfefe,” the Twitter post began, at 12.06am eastern time, from @realdonaldtrump, the irrepressible internal monologue of his presidency.
"Of course #covfefe is real word. It was coined during the Bowling Green Massacre." pic.twitter.com/DYjqX1xE7M
— Diane N. Sevenay (@Diane_7A) May 31, 2017
Finally figured out what Bill Murray whispered in Scarlett Johansson's ear at the end of "Lost in Translation" #covfefe pic.twitter.com/fDFJUYlEz8
— Jordan VanDina (@Shrimptooth) May 31, 2017
It's been five minutes. What if this is it. That is his final tweet & the rest of history stops.
— emily nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) May 31, 2017
Who can figure out the true meaning of "covfefe" ??? Enjoy!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 31, 2017
And that was that. A minute passed. Then another. Then five. Surely he would delete the message. Ten. Twenty. It was nearly 12.30am. Forty minutes. An hour. The questions mounted.
Had the president’s lawyers, so eager to curb his stream-of-consciousness missives, tackled the commander-in-chief under the cover of night? Perhaps, some worried aloud, Trump had experienced a medical episode a quarter of the way through his 140 characters.
Or maybe he had simply gazed upon his work, paused and thought: “Yes. Nailed it.”
No one at the White House could immediately be reached for comment overnight. But by 1am, the debate had effectively consumed Twitter – or at least a certain segment of insomniac Beltway types, often journalists and political operatives – ascending the list of trending topics.
“Of course #covfefe is real word,” wrote @Diane_7A, recalling an invented tragedy once invoked by the Trump White House. “It was coined during the Bowling Green Massacre.”
"What if this is it," asked Emily Nussbaum, the New Yorker television critic, after just five minutes. "That is his final tweet & the rest of history stops."
Sobering story
Some appeared to temper their whimsy as a more sobering news story dominated the medium: a huge explosion shaking Kabul, Afghanistan, leaving dozens dead or wounded.
Yet the instinct to linger was powerful, for those who had glimpsed the initial post, even if they did not seem entirely sure why they were still awake. “Covfefe,” said Tasneem Raja, a journalist, perhaps chafing at the growing communal giddiness. “There, I participated.”
Eventually, the jokes lurched into delirium. Twitter users held forth on the former FBI director James Covfefe. They pledged to order a grande covfefe during their next Starbucks runs. They announced they had at last discovered what Bill Murray whispered to Scarlett Johansson at the end of Lost in Translation.
And as the hour wore on, stragglers turned their lonely eyes to the only account that could save them. "Help, @MerriamWebster," pleaded Jessica Taylor, a reporter at NPR, one of several to make the request. The dictionary obliged. "Wakes up. Checks Twitter. Uh . . ." it began. "Regrets checking Twitter. Goes back to bed."
And then, just after 6am, the president resurfaced, finally deleting the Twitter post and tapping out another. “Who can figure out the true meaning of ‘covfefe’ ???” he wrote. “Enjoy!”
Little became clearer in daylight hours. Consensus proved elusive – to say nothing of pronunciation guidelines – and the White House appeared disinclined to help. "The president and a small group of people know exactly what he meant," Sean Spicer, the press secretary, told reporters flatly. He did not elaborate.
But someone else had a theory – the American perhaps most attuned to the power of the president's Twittering hand. "I thought it was a hidden message," Hillary Clinton told a crowd in California, "to the Russians."
New York Times