IT ENDED with a tantalising twist in the tale and left the nation agog.
Last night's Prime Timepresidential debate began tamely, livened up considerably as it went on and ended on a cliffhanger, courtesy of Dana, a breaking newspaper story and some old friends of this campaign – the lawyers.
You wait 14 years for a presidential election debate to arrive and then they all arrive at once. Whoops. Here comes another one! If familiarity breeds contempt – then at this stage, the seven Áras hopefuls must absolutely detest each other.
Which is perhaps why Miriam O’Callaghan did her best to set them fighting amongst themselves last night, politely pointing out the various jugulars and inviting her panel to go for them.
RTÉ cruelly placed high stools behind the candidates, which they were free to sit on at any time. Given their long day, they must have longed for a chance to put their feet up, but to do so would have been a signal of weakness.
We understand they took to the Val Doonican stools during the commercial break, although there are rumours that Seán Gallagher did some press ups to unnerve the rest of them.
She can’t be blamed for encouraging a scrap among a group of people so utterly determined to come across as caring and courteous and respectful, particularly when such a monumental collection of egos cannot exist without the occasional tantrum.
This debate was something of a slow burner, when O’Callaghan put the sacrificial seven through a little test of their knowledge of the powers of the president.
She cautioned the candidates to go easy on the vision when replying, although we weren’t holding out much hope of that happening.
But to be fair to them, they had done their homework, although Martin McGuinness looked a bit stressed by the effort of having to remember it all. They waffled safely through — apart from the two professional politicians, Michael D Higgins and Gay Mitchell, who seemed most at home with the subject.
Dana, in a first during this campaign, left her copy of the Constitution at home, thus depriving viewers the chance to see her waving it around. Instead, she settled on cherishing it, which is always a good thing, where Dana is concerned.
It was a dull opening, despite Seán Gallagher going with the mind-boggling concept that the president doesn’t have powers, rather, “the president has themes”. Then we moved on to a discussion of the role of God in all of this, when Miriam suddenly seemed to be under the impression that she was hosting a live edition of Would You Believe? The talk turned to the oath of office and the presence of “Almighty God” in it.
So far so heavenly.
And them, boom! From the Good Book to the Little Green Book of the IRA and Martin McGuinness’s leading part in that organisation.
And speaking of God, said Miriam sweetly, lovely in her Marilyn Monroe crimson frock, how did Martin square his stated religious beliefs with being involved in the murder of so many people. Martin nearly choked on his own indignation. But Miriam didn’t let up on him. So he blamed the media again for blaming him on everything, from the 1916 rising and on.
“If some of the media had their way down here....” sniffed the man who is running to become president of the country known as “Down Here.” Having softened up a shaken McGuinness, merciless Miriam unleashed Gay Mitchell on him, who duly bared his fangs and sank them in Martin’s ankles.
Would you vote for him? asked Miriam of the other six, as Martin fumed. “I’d vote for Michael D. Higgins” spluttered Michael D.
Next up for a roasting for Seán Gallagher, self proclaimed young, vigorous, energetic, dynamic, fresh, energetic...excuse us, we need a lie down. Seán said that yes, he had considered running for Fianna Fáil in the last election “but the memory of George Lee shocked me, that I’d achieve little.” His Fianna Fáil connections were probed. “Does anyone regard him as a Fianna Fáil candidate?” Miriam asked the others, who cowered in silence behind their podiums.
“You’re all so polite” shrugged Miriam, disappointed.
Then Michael D and David Norris ganged up on Gallagher and said they thought he was of the Fianna Fáil gene pool. Miriam looked happy.
Martin McGuinness had an unhappy night. It didn’t go too well for Seán Gallagher either. Mary Davis was solid, if a little bland; a greatly improved Gay Mitchell sulkily stood on his record as the only one with the bottle to scrutinise Martin McGuinness’s record. It was steady as you go for Michael D.
David Norris was a different man from the somewhat hysterical candidate who appeared in the aftermath of his return to the race amid huge controversy. Last night, he was positively relaxed. Smiling a natural smile (not the rictus that marked his initial return), making thoughtful contributions and coming over extremely well.
As for Dana, she imploded, seemingly close to tears as she read out a baffling legal statement about allegations implicating her in something she would not disclose.
“What are you talking about” asked Miriam, nonplussed, more than once.
Dana wouldn’t say.
And with that, a nation nodding off after an enjoyable debate, sat bolt upright: “What the hell?” And on that bombshell...
Good work, Miriam.
