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‘In Ireland, everyone’s grown up together and no one is really looking for new friends’

Paige Haarhoff moved to Ireland from South Africa in 2023

Paige Haarhoff: 'Me figuring out public transport was next level. But to be fair, there’s a lot of ghost buses. It’s a nightmare.' Photograph: Dara Mac Dónaill
Paige Haarhoff: 'Me figuring out public transport was next level. But to be fair, there’s a lot of ghost buses. It’s a nightmare.' Photograph: Dara Mac Dónaill

Paige Haarhoff was on holidays in Ireland from South Africa on New Year’s Eve in 2019 when she decided she was going to move here.

When her aunt and uncle moved to Mallow, Co Cork, 5½ years ago, she went to visit them for Christmas, and went to Dublin for New Year.

“That’s when I was like, I love Dublin, and made the decision to move here. I was like, I love the people, it’s such a good time,” says Haarhoff.

While going through customs in Dublin Airport for their 2019 holiday, the customs officer chatted at length to Haarhoff and her family after noticing their South African passports, because he had an aunt living there.

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“Normally the customs guys are like, stamp your passport, and he was just there chatting to us to the point where my uncle was like, ‘Are you guys okay?’ and we were like, ‘Yeah, we’re fine, just having a chat,” she laughs.

But because of the pandemic, her move was postponed until January 2023, and then she moved to Dublin alone and started a job as a digital account manager with EssenceMediacom.

Haarhoff lives with her brother, who recently also moved over, in Leopardstown, and has two pairs of aunts and uncles who live in Mallow with their children.

“We all lived in the same area in Durban and basically we all just saw that there were better opportunities over in Ireland especially to raise a family. Their kids are a lot younger than myself and my brother,” she says. “Just from an opportunity perspective, they decided to leave South Africa for work purposes and providing for their families.”

I was like, I can’t get out of bed, I don’t know what is going on with me. I’m not normally like that. I’m active

—  Haarhoff on seasonal depression

In South Africa, Haarhoff had a good life. She had a good job and team, friends, and animals – including a horse, which she still owns.

“But I’ve always wanted to live abroad and I was like, either do it now or I’m never going to do it. My parents got an opportunity to go work in France, and I was like, Oh, if my mum and dad are leaving, that makes sense for me to leave as well.”

But she only wanted to move to Ireland.

“That had been my goal since 2020, I was just set on Dublin and was like, that’s where I’m moving to.”

So in November 2022, she moved to France with her parents and set out to find accommodation in Dublin before making the move.

Haarhoff had made friends who were studying at University College Dublin who were able to view places for her, and after three days of nonstop contacting potential lodgings on property websites, Haarhoff was offered a place in Churchtown.

She has found making friends can be difficult in Ireland. “Ireland is a smaller country, and everyone’s grown up together and you guys all have your friend groups and childhood friend groups and no one is really looking for new friends or whatever. So yes, you’ll be friendly, but there’s definitely that barrier of, I have my friends and we’ll be friendly to you and help you to the ends of the earth and back, but getting into friend circles is quite difficult, I’ve found.”

Regardless, Haarhoff has found her “little South African crew”, having met them while watching Springboks sporting events.

She suffered with seasonal depression last winter. “It was the first time I’d been in Europe from the summer to winter change, and I didn’t know what it was. I was like, I can’t get out of bed, I don’t know what is going on with me. I’m not normally like that. I’m active.”

“My mum was like, I think you need to start taking some vitamin D. We come from a very sunny country and your body is just not used to it,” she says. When she returned to South Africa for a month in February, she immediately felt better after getting some sun.

I’m not saying that Dublin is cheap in any way, shape or form, but I feel like you get a lot more for your money than you would in South Africa

Discussing some of the difficulties she has faced since her move, she says, “It was a challenge that I asked for.” One such difficulty has been figuring out the bus system.

“Me figuring out public transport was next level. But to be fair, there’s a lot of ghost buses. It’s a nightmare. I remember walking into the office like a half-hour late. I was like, ‘I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, and everyone was like, no, there’s ghost buses here,’” she says.

Haarhoff also sometimes feels she is “shoving money down a drain” with renting.

“At least if it was paying off a mortgage then I’d be like, okay, I’m happy to pay what I’m currently paying for rent towards the mortgage because I know it’s paying off something, but when you’re just paying someone money it’s like, what is this?”

Regardless, South Africa is more expensive, she feels.

“I know everything’s relative around the globe, but the salaries in Durban don’t equate to the expenses, like rent and groceries. I find Irish groceries a lot cheaper than in South Africa, it’s a completely different way of living in South Africa.”

Sometimes she would eat out in South Africa because it was cheaper than buying groceries, but living in Ireland, she has found herself making meals at home, embracing “a whole new lifestyle”.

“I’m not saying that Dublin is cheap in any way, shape or form, but just from a comparative perspective, I feel like you get a lot more for your money than you would in South Africa,” she says.

“South Africa will always be my home. I live and breathe and am fully South African. I love my country and I love my people, and to say I don’t think about home once or twice a day would be a lie. I think about it every single day, and how my friends, my animals, my grandparents, are doing, and my niece and nephew. It’s really tough.

“I do look forward to going home once a year for a month and I really enjoy that time. I’m definitely a lot more patriotic about my country now than I was before,” she says.

We would like to hear from people who have moved to Ireland in the past 10 years. To get involved, email newtotheparish@irishtimes.com or tweet @newtotheparish