Des Lynam: ‘I had a problem with fast women and slow horses but that’s well in the past’

The former Grandstand and Match of the Day presenter has written a pair of books about animals, Now Who’s Talking 1 and 2, with illustrations by Bryony Hill

Des Lynam, from Ennis, Co Clare, presented Grandstand on BBC from 1979 to 1991. Photograph: BBC
Des Lynam, from Ennis, Co Clare, presented Grandstand on BBC from 1979 to 1991. Photograph: BBC

How agreeable are you?

I’m fairly relaxed. My grandson describes me as cool.

What’s your middle name and what do you think of it?

It’s Michael, which I preferred to Des when I was young. Desmond was quite a bit of a handle until I got older. It’s a bit of a mouthful for a young kid. Some names are suitable for adults and not for children, and that was one of them.

Where is your favourite place in Ireland?

Ennis, Co Clare, where I was born, and Lahinch Golf Club in Clare, where I was a member.

Describe yourself in three words.

Tall, humorous and fun.

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When did you last get angry?

I get angry when I listen to politicians telling lies.

What have you lost that you would like to have back?

My youth. Bernard Shaw got it right when he said it’s wasted on the young. I’m 81. Fifty, 60, 70 didn’t bother me but 80 hit me and gave me a bit of jolt.

What’s your strongest childhood memory?

It’s a toss-up between meeting my father when he came home from the British army in the Far East. I was 3½ before I met him. He came back to Ireland. My mother had gone back to Ireland [from England] to the bosom of her family. I was born when he was away.

So it’s a toss-up between that and receiving a brand new bicycle, a big surprise, when I was 10, for Christmas. I had been happy with the Dandy annual and a couple of oranges, but there was a big parcel in the kitchen wrapped in cardboard. I’ve never been so happy since.

Where do you come in your family’s birth order, and has this defined you?

I’m an only child after losing a sister who died in infancy. I was probably over-protected for a while but I don’t think I was spoiled. I got ill with measles and septic appendicitis and was in an isolation clinic for three or four weeks when I was about seven. I had to learn to walk again. I got lots of responsibility as I got older. My parents were quite happy for me to have a key to the house when I was about eight or nine. I was a pretty well-behaved child, bordering on dull actually. I respected my mother and father, and they taught me to respect others and be kind.

What do you expect to happen when you die?

Nothing. Oblivion. I’d like to think I will be remembered in the hearts and minds of loved ones.

When were you happiest?

When I got my first job at the BBC in 1969. It was very competitive and I was lucky to get through.

Which actor would play you in a biopic about your life?

A young James Stewart or Richard Gere. I might be suffering from delusions of adequacy.

What’s your biggest career/personal regret?

I regret not going to university. I should have furthered my education but money was a little tight, and I naively at the time thought that 21 or 22 years was too old and I should be out working.

Have you any psychological quirks?

I had a problem with fast women and slow horses, but that’s well in the past.