‘I never have a full night’s sleep before singing at a funeral - it’s someone’s last goodbye’

What I Do: Olivia O’Hanlon is a wedding and funeral singer

Olivia O'Hanlon who is a wedding and funeral singer at her local church, St Brigid's Catholic Church, Ballysadare. Photograph: James Connolly
Olivia O'Hanlon who is a wedding and funeral singer at her local church, St Brigid's Catholic Church, Ballysadare. Photograph: James Connolly

One of my earliest memories is standing in the kitchen at my granny’s, and you’d do a song. My sister and I would sing with my uncle at family weddings. I was in the choir in the Mercy [College] in Sligo too.

After school, I went straight to work in the bank, so the music side dwindled. Then I got married and had three kids.

It didn’t occur to me at the time that I could have a career in music, and to be honest with you, I would never have had the confidence. Singing was just something that I really enjoyed, but I didn’t think I was good enough.

'I never thought of singing at funerals because I’d cry watching Emmerdale,' says Olivia. Photograph James Connolly
'I never thought of singing at funerals because I’d cry watching Emmerdale,' says Olivia. Photograph James Connolly

I had worked really hard and did all my exams at the bank. The kids were in creche and when you are running and racing, and the guilt of working and all that – when the opportunity came up to leave the bank, I was thinking God, what will I do? You lose yourself when your career is gone. The only thing I could do was sing.

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My husband’s grandfather died and I sang a song at his funeral. The undertaker approached me after and said, “Would you like to do more funerals?”, and that’s what put it in my head.

I never thought of singing at funerals because I’d cry watching Emmerdale.

May, June, July, August and September are the months people get married, and bank holiday weekends are the busiest

I set up a Facebook page and made it live by accident. I couldn’t believe I was getting loads of “likes” and people wishing me luck, so I went with it then.

It’s taken years to build up. The big turning point for me was in 2016 when I won “best newcomer” on a wedding platform. Then I won “best wedding singer” the following year. It was amazing to be recognised.

The bride’s entrance is the big moment. The music is so important to creating that atmosphere.

I always say to brides, listen to your song in the car by yourself. I tell them to feel the emotion of that. You come across brides who have lost parents, or not all of them would be comfortable walking up the aisle. I want them to be comfortable with the song they have chosen and are not shocked with the emotion.

Music can make you cry and get upset, and that’s one thing you don’t want is tears and make-up being destroyed.

The couple want the music to reflect them, but if you are in a church, you really can’t have all the Beyoncé songs. You have to be mindful too of aunties and uncles who are churchgoers, and you want to keep the priest happy.

'I got married 20 years ago, and it was so different. There are a lot of extras now,' says Olivia. Photograph: James Connolly
'I got married 20 years ago, and it was so different. There are a lot of extras now,' says Olivia. Photograph: James Connolly

What songs are popular? It changes all the time. Five years ago, I would have said A Thousand Years by Christina Perri, or How Long Will I Love You. At the moment, since the Elvis movie came out, Can’t Help Falling in Love is being requested more and more.

You can pick up the tempo from when the couple are signing the register. Happy Together by the Turtles or Forever and Ever by Randy Travis is coming back, which I love. Five years ago, it was Hey Ho by the Lumineers.

You always have the classics – Signed, Sealed, Delivered. You’ll have couples who have friends getting married, so they always want to have something different.

With Covid, there was a back-up of weddings. It’s a lot quieter this year. A photographer friend said it’s because couples didn’t meet and it will take another year or two now before they pop the question.

'One song that you can’t replicate is, ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’. I can’t sing it, so I will play it if it’s requested,' she says. Photograph: James Connolly
'One song that you can’t replicate is, ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’. I can’t sing it, so I will play it if it’s requested,' she says. Photograph: James Connolly

May, June, July, August and September are the months people get married, and bank holiday weekends are the busiest. Thursdays are big because a lot of hotels are doing offers. Last year, it was a lot of Mondays.

I got married 20 years ago, and it was so different. There are a lot of extras now, like flower-framed backdrops, chocolate fountains or a rail full of all the Taytos.

I’ve noticed in the last year, sometimes the celebrant announces that the couple have requested for guests not to take pictures. It gives the couple a chance to post the pictures themselves first.

I had one wedding that was very hard. Their child was terminally ill and the couple wanted to get married. It was very intimate, just their nearest and dearest. The bride was the loveliest woman. That always stands out in my mind. You count your blessings.

I’ve never looked back since I started singing. I get the time with the kids that I never would have got and I get to work – it gives me a purpose

I never have a full night’s sleep before singing at a funeral – it’s someone’s last goodbye and I take it very seriously. It feels an honour to be asked to do it.

One song that you can’t replicate is, You’ll Never Walk Alone. I can’t sing it, so I will play it if it’s requested. You follow whatever the family wants. I say to them, don’t have regrets, have whatever you want.

Music at a funeral allows people to grieve and hopefully it gives them comfort.

'Before a wedding ceremony starts, you see families who haven’t seen each other in ages coming together,' says Olivia. Photograph: James Connolly
'Before a wedding ceremony starts, you see families who haven’t seen each other in ages coming together,' says Olivia. Photograph: James Connolly

I want people to relax and feel the emotion of the songs.

I’ve never looked back since I started singing. I get the time with the kids that I never would have got and I get to work – it gives me a purpose. It feels worthwhile. You can go out and do your job, and make people happy, and still be able to come home and enjoy the kids when they are young.

Before a wedding ceremony starts, you see families who haven’t seen each other in ages coming together. They are kissing and hugging, everyone is in good form, and it’s really heartwarming to watch and to create that bit of atmosphere. You are thinking, ‘Oh this is lovely’. What else would you be at?

– In conversation with Joanne Hunt