In the early hours of May 16th, 2017, Stephanie and Alex Gesswein piled their four young children into an already-packed car and set off to drive the 850km from their hometown in western Germany to Cherbourg in northern France.
“It was very chaotic. I had been packing the trailer till 2am and lay down for two hours before getting up again,” says Stephanie. “We made it to Cherbourg just in time and were all super tired by that point and excited at the same time. The next morning we saw dolphins and thought, This is a good sign — Ireland is greeting us.”
The family arrived into a sunny Rosslare harbour, where they set off on the final leg of their journey west to the Airbnb they had booked outside the fishing village of Portmagee on the Iveragh peninsula, Co Kerry.
“I remember we arrived down from Glenbeigh, past Rossbeigh beach, and saw Dingle Bay and the ocean for the first time. The water was turquoise, the weather was great, it was just so beautiful.”
The couple had spent the previous six months planning their family’s move from Rhineland-Palatinate state to Co Kerry, a location they chose after “just looking at Google Maps and searching for the nicest beach”. They were unhappy with the German education system and keen to try living somewhere different.
“We were searching for a better life,” Alex says. “We always had this feeling we weren’t very happy with how German society works, how people communicate with each other. But to be honest, until six months before we moved to Ireland, we’d never thought about living in another country.”
The couple, who met in 2003, were quite content living in western Germany during the first few years of their children’s lives. Their home state offered free childcare from the age of two and they could avail of plenty of parental leave when Benjamin (12), Marie (10), Samuel (8) and Anna (6) were born.
However, they also noticed young children were not always welcome in public spaces such as restaurants, cafes or supermarkets. “When you went into a restaurant with a child or if the baby was crying you’d get these glares of, ‘Can you shut that baby up?’,” says Stephanie.
“When babies are small everyone wants them to learn to talk and walk but as soon as they are talking and walking, they want them to sit still and be quiet. It’s not everybody, obviously, but it was the overall view, at least where we lived.”
Hours of homework
The couple also felt uncomfortable about their son’s transition from kindergarten into primary school. “They go from being allowed to run free and play to being expected to sit still and do their job. It’s suddenly all about performance and competition. Benjamin, who was six at the time, was spending hours on homework.”
After a few months of watching their son struggle, the couple started to investigate moving abroad. Alex’s job as a software developer meant he could work remotely and the couple both spoke English. However, they did not feel comfortable moving to the UK following the Brexit referendum so they turned their attention to Ireland.
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Six months later they were staying in a holiday home in Portmagee and, after two weeks of searching, they found a home to rent in the village of Castlemaine. They found their new Kerry neighbours very friendly and were particularly pleased by the warm welcome shown towards the children. “We were in Lidl a few days after we arrived, and our kids were running around and being loud so we told them to stop because in Germany that would not be allowed,” says Stephanie. “But then we saw another family were also running around and nobody said anything or looked at them. That felt so unusual to us.”
The family spent their first Irish summer exploring Kerry and enrolled the children in the local national school the following September. They immediately saw a change in their son Benjamin, who loved his class, and could see their daughter Anna thriving in junior infants.
“We liked that they started a bit slower. They still learn maths and how to read and write but can also paint, sing and enjoy themselves.”
While they found the cost of food was not particularly different from Germany, they were shocked by car insurance prices in Ireland. “It was horrible. It still makes me so angry,” says Alex, dropping his head in his hands. “In Germany we paid €140 a year for insurance and here €1,500 was the cheapest option.” The couple find the children’s extracurricular activities and childcare very expensive but say this does not take away from the happiness and relief they feel living in Kerry.
In February 2020, when Covid-19 started to spread and borders began closing, the family were visiting family in Germany. They returned to Ireland on March 5th and three days later, Stephanie got a call from her father. “He told me he wasn’t feeling great. A few days later, on March 14th, he went into hospital and on March 18th he died. They put him into an induced coma right away so he never woke up. He was the 26th person in Germany to die of Covid. It felt so unreal and bizarre.”
Strict measures
Because of her father’s death, Stephanie appreciated the strict measures the Irish Government introduced in response to the pandemic. “I was personally terrified to go anywhere and felt a lot safer in the countryside. It was a strange time and I really wanted to say goodbye to him, which was impossible. But we found the home-schooling easy and our school principal was very good. She had weekly Zoom calls with the kids when my dad died.”
Some 2½ years on, the couple are relieved to see their children back mixing with others. They recently sold their house in Germany, which they held on to in case the move to Ireland did not work out.
They have also established their own company, Narrangee, producing “smellable” audio books and believe many people have a new appreciation for their sense of smell following Covid. “So many people lost their smell during Covid; they suddenly realised how important it is,” says Stephanie.
“The sense of smell is totally underrated — but it’s the door to our memories and our emotions. A lot of people don’t see that.”
They have developed their business with the support of the RDI Hub in Killorglin, while Stephanie is now the chairwoman of the Castlemaine Family Resource Centre.
“In Germany, our calendar was super full but life is slower here,” she says. “We have plenty of time and we like that. And when the weather is sunny and [we can] see the landscape around us, I still get that feeling I had at very beginning. I love the beaches, I love the people. It brings tears to my eyes.”
We would like to hear from people who have moved to Ireland in the past 10 years. To get involved, email newtotheparish@irishtimes.com or tweet @newtotheparish
