It’s one o’clock at the Bite food festival at the RDS and, even for me, it’s too early to crack into the drink. Some of us are meant to be working.
The lads from Bray’s Wicklow Wolf brewery are doing a brisk trade. So far only journalists seem to be showing an interest, although there’s nothing unexpected there.
Quinny Fennelly is a Wicklow Wolf. Since 2010 they have made 200,000 litres of beer, he says. The brewery always has five beers on the go, but has produced about 14 different brews so far. We may have bought some of those litres.
The Irish Times moves on to something more wholesome and vegetable-based. Yes, vodka and gin from St Patrick’s Distillery in Douglas, Cork. The beverage is made from potatoes.
MD Tom Keightly, who was a commercial director for pharmaceuticals in his previous incarnation, launched the business earlier this year at the Bloom garden festival. “We specifically looked at spirits made from potatoes because more people are gluten intolerant and there’s no gluten at all in it.”
Potato-based spirits? Wonder if that will ever catch on?
The guys do whiskey too, but there might be a wee drop of gluten in it. Oh well, you can’t have everything.
An offer of a glass of the hard stuff is declined. “We exhibited down at the Ploughing Championships and they came in at 8am for a whiskey. Well, they’d been up early,” he explained to this lily-livered reporter.
From the sublime to the ridiculous at the Tupperware stand. Its shelves of multi-coloured, plastic bounty looks to have drawn a much bigger crowd. A box with an orange lid "ideal for holding tray bakes" is retailing at €21. Tupperware may have started the trend, but you can get a lot of bang for your buck at an Anne Summers party for that kind of money.
Steering totally clear of any ethnic clichés, the next stall is also selling potatoes. Not potatoes turned into gin. Just potatoes. Actually, not just potatoes. Ballymakenny Farm, which is located just outside Drogheda, sells gourmet purple potatoes.
Eileen Flynn persuaded her potato-growing farmer of a husband David to let her cultivate them. Now, hey presto, you can eat them in the Merrion and Westbury hotels. “I don’t think that you’ll ever see them in Dunnes or Aldi,” says David, although Eileen thinks that you might. It is an ecumenical potato, she says.
Some mature women are clustered around a young man demonstrating a German whisk. I stop to admire his whisk action and the froth on his milk.
“Slow down a wee bit. We’re pensioners,” chimes a Donegalwoman. “The whisks are perfect for people with rheumatism and arthritis,” says the young man. We beat a speedy retreat.
Heading to sunnier climes, Sonia Vrizi is selling her dad’s olive oil and pasta sauces from Sicily. Is she bringing a bit of Italian passion into our pasty Irish lives? Well, yes and no. She’s here because her husband is Irish. She fell in love with him in Rome and now lives in Leixlip. “I bet he didn’t mention the weather,” we think.
Some farmers are lucky enough to have their gorgeous, talented daughters up front. Síomha Kirwan has taken a day out of her Transition Year to sell Cúlcow ice cream. And she does it so sweetly, we are eating out of her hands – literally – as she scoops up a spoon of caramel ice-cream. Jamie Oliver and Balfes already sell the sorbets and ices, which are made on the Kirwan's Banagher, Co Offaly suckler farm, but the website will soon allow you to bring it home.
Termonfeckin Delicious Turkey is also playing the super-cool daughter card as Caroline McEvoy helps dad David shift the turkeys they have hand-reared – and hand plucked by the look of their immaculate feathered necks.
Meanwhile, Cora-Jane Wynne is getting ready to uncork O’Brien’s wine learning curve, as Lynn Coyle MW (Master of Wine) gets ready to deliver a number of workshops every hour from 4pm. Warning: there are glasses on the table.
However, you can take part in some sort of wine Olympics. Put a New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc up against a Spanish Albarino, let an Argentinain Malbec fight it out against an Australian shiraz. Who wins? You decide. Book a taxi.
There is just so much to see and to nibble on at Bite, you will be spoilt for choice. Mr Muffin Man caught our eye. For his cakes, naturally.
And our conscience was salved by the one man-on-a-bicycle band that is the company Feed: Shane Ryan will deliver your lunch anywhere (as long as it's in Dublin 2, sorry Tallaght – for €5.50). For this you get a tasty, fresh lunch and a child in the developing world will get a meal at their school. So education and nutrition and conscience-easing in one hand-sized bite. It doesn't get better than that. Check out the menu at eatfeed.ie Bite Food festival runs at the RDS until Sunday. See bitefoodfestival.ie
