SMALL PRINT:NOW THAT there's a Berlusconi love song album-shaped hole in all of our Christmas stockings given that the Italian prime minister has delayed the release of his new album, True Love,perhaps it's time to survey what other European leaders' forays into chart success could be.

Truly, an untapped musical bounty awaits:

George PapandreouA nihilistic death-metal record from the troubled Greek prime minister, set in a post-apocalyptic landscape drawing on themes of Athenian tragedies.

Suggested title: The Black Album(although probably more appropriately The Red Album)

Angela MerkelNo-nonsense minimal techno from the German premier, echoing Kraftwerk. Severe in beats and sparse in instrumentation. Somehow manages to be effortlessly better than every other release.

Suggested title: Do As I Say, And As I Do

Enda KennyA swinging traditional Irish party album featuring all of your late night favourites; Black Velvet Bond, The Rocky Road To Berlin, Where The Troika Counties Meet, Banks Of My Own Lovely Loan, Fill The Looters Haul, Little Beggarmanand My Bond Lies Over The Ocean.

Suggested title: Enda Kenny and the Belt Tighteners (eponymous)

Pedro PassosCoelho Portugal's main man presents a tense and frantic indie-rock album, bristling with nervous energy, reminiscent of Arctic Monkey's self-denying debut Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not. Urgent and fast-paced with underlying tones of desperation.

Suggested title: The Alchemist

José Luis Rodriguez ZapateroTemporarily changing his name to Zappa-Tero, the Spanish prime minister composes an experimental requiem for his term ahead of 2012's general election. Drawing inspiration from Frank Zappa's seminal works Freak Out!(1966), We're Only In It For The Money(1968), One Size Fits All(1975) and Them or Us(1984), Zappa-Tero offers a succinct musical commentary on the current state of the EU.

Suggested title: El Indignado

Nicolas SarkozyA free-form contemporary jazz record from the French leader, showing that you don't need technical ability to excel at something. Switching from confusing sentiments, to emphatic declarations, this ground-breaking record tosses out substance for style, laden with sonic shrugs and self-congratulatory musical winks.

Suggested title: Que Sera Sera(featuring Carla Bruni)