Do you have a floordrobe? Drawers of old birthday cards? Cupboards filled with your preschooler's artwork? After two years of being mostly at home, our houses are chock-a-block. "Our internal world is a mirror of our external world. If chaos has built up around your home, your head is in the same disarray," says Vera Keohane of @enjoy_your_home_. It might be time for the mother of all declutters.
Time for storage solutions then?
Well, no. "What people mistakenly do when they think about getting organised is they go out and buy all these storage bins and boxes without getting rid of anything," says Keohane. "All of their items, whether they need them or not, are neatly but unnecessarily stored away. They are just rearranging their stuff."
Where do I start?
It's clothes first according to the Marie Kondo method in which Keohane is trained. That expensive dress you bought for a wedding and wore once, those designer shoes that mangled your toes, the jeans that last fit when Pulp was in the charts – ditch 'em. "Ask yourself, 'does this bring me joy?'" says Keohane. Sometimes the stuff we keep is actually making us feel bad. "If you feel shame or guilt about an expensive purchase you don't wear, by passing it on, someone else will get the wear out of it." That denim boiler suit with the batwing sleeves? It wasn't a mistake, it was a "learning [curve]", says Keohane. "This is really a journey of self-discovery to find out why you bought things in the first place."
What about my partner's clothes?
The Crocs, the dad fleece, the Leinster hat – what if my partner's clothes don't spark joy? Unfortunately you can't throw away anything that belongs to someone else, says Keohane. "It's personal to you. You lead by example. They will come onboard because tidying is contagious."
Stay focused
Leave sentimental items until last to avoid being derailed. "We've all found ourselves with a photo album and two hours later we are still looking at pictures. If you come across something sentimental, put it to one side until you get to that category." Approach tidying in bite-size chunks. In the kitchen, start with cups. Do cutlery on another day. "Instead of being inundated with the entire kitchen contents, take small steps."
But what about the sentimental stuff?
Keeping every plane ticket, festival pass or conference lanyard will weigh you down. "If everything is important, nothing is important," says Keohane. "Mothers keep a lot of baby clothes, but a baby blanket and probably a first pair of shoes is enough to keep. You don't need to keep everything for memories. The memories are within us."
What about inherited items?
Letting go of a loved one's possessions can feel particularly difficult, or even disloyal. If you have inherited a house-full of contents, don't bring it all to your house. "People do that because things were their mother's and they couldn't part with them, but then their home becomes full of clutter," says Keohane. "Don't keep a whole canteen of cutlery, keep one spoon and frame it as a memory."
Regift the guilt
That strangely scented candle, the funky towels, the wedding present of a couple in embrace – just because it was a gift from a loved one, doesn't mean you have to keep it, says Keohane. "The joy is in the giving of the gift. The person who gave it to you wanted you to experience joy because they love you, but it's fine to pass it on if it's not suitable. Don't keep it for shame's sake, let someone else enjoy it." Stop the avalanche of kids' presents by asking relatives for the gift of time or an experience instead. This avoids expense, clutter and landfill.
I'm feeling better already
The method is about experiencing more calm by living with less. "The more possessions we have, the more occupied we are," says Keohane. "We fall out of love with home when it's in a state. The calm that comes over you when all this excess is gone is profoundly life-changing."
