We generally assume positive thinking is good for us. Usually it is – but research on a link between a certain type of positive thinking and suicide attempts suggests we need to be cautious about this.

The research also highlights risk factors that seem to me to be particularly applicable to men.

Researchers from leading British universities questioned almost 400 people hospitalised in Edinburgh following suicide attempts. Among the factors measured were positive thoughts about the future. They followed up with the interviewees 15 months later.

Some positive beliefs, for instance about relationships with family and friends and about future achievements, seem to protect against suicide attempts.

Others are dangerous, specifically those that relate to the individual himself or herself and to nobody else. "Examples include getting better, not being depressed, being happy, being healthy, recovering, being more confident, etc." according to the research report in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology.

What I find striking about this list is that it involves expectations of the self that cannot be guaranteed. For instance we have less control than we might like to think over our levels of happiness. We are all going to experience both happiness and unhappiness from time to time, often within the same day.

Similarly, nobody is confident all the time, including those who appear supremely confident. Not being depressed is something we simply cannot promise ourselves. None of us knows when we are going to fall into at least some level of depression.

And as one of the authors of the report, Prof Mark Williams, has demonstrated in his work on mindfulness, depression is a relapsing condition.

That doesn’t mean relapses are inevitable, especially if people take care of their mental health when not depressed. But it means nobody can confidently say they will not become depressed this year, next year or the year after.

The authors speculate that when people who have generated these unrealistic positive thoughts run up against the reality of depression, unhappiness, loss of confidence and so on they feel trapped. They may then move on to seeing suicide as the only way out of the trap.

It has to be said that this research is at an early stage but I think it’s important to be aware of it.

It seems to me that a form of “sometimes” thinking might be more useful to cultivate. For instance: “Sometimes I will be happy and sometimes not, and that’s okay.” Or: “Sometimes I will be confident and sometimes not, and that’s okay.” This sort of approach recognises that we have little control directly over our feelings and that what we need is a healthy way to relate to those changing feelings.

I mentioned earlier that some of the factors outlined in the report seemed to me to apply particularly to men. These include an expectation of a low level of achievement which also seems to be linked to increased future suicide attempts. Men and women value achievement but it seems to me men are more likely to judge their self-worth by it.

Also dangerous, it seems, is financial negativity. We have probably all heard of tragic situations in which men took their lives because of financial despair in recent years.

What surprised me, though, was that the authors found that the “most pernicious” of all these factors was unrealistic positive thinking. Note here that I am not talking about positive thinking in general but about the kind of positive thinking that cannot keep its promises.

All of this suggests the real benefit can be gained from focusing on good relationships, realistic goals, and on a sense of compassion towards a self that sometimes works well but is often faulty, just like every other self that has been or ever will be.

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Padraig O’Morain is a counsellor accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. His latest book is Mindfulness on the Go. His newsletter is free by email: pomorain@yahoo.com