Christmas for me starts when . . . I begin to smell the cold. When I have to adjust to breathing other people's expended air and rubbing shoulders with strangers on folk-swollen streets.
Last Christmas . . . I was living out of my bodhrán case... patience was my seasonal garland with swollen knuckles and buckled rings for baubles.
This Christmas . . . MissElayneous is on the top of the tree. I'm living in someone's heart as my home and I've been reborn.
I'll never forget the Christmas that . . . I grew up so fast my imagination went into a coma.
My favourite thing about this time of year is . . . nostalgia... sentiment... miracles... effort... love by default.
The one thing that brings out my inner Grinch is . . . the O'Connell Street artificial 'Christmas tree' (accomplice to the spire). They deserve each other.
The perfect gift for my ears would be . . . rolled Rs and chopped Ts with colloquial eloquence and pride. Truth would be an aural stocking filler too.
The perfect gift for my eyes would be . . . the old O'Connell Street trees and more eye contact with others.
It wouldn't be Christmas without . . . Jesus Christ.
I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need . . . more selflessness.
MissElayneous is performing with Gardiner Street Gospel Choir at the Olympia Theatre on November 22nd. Connected is aired on RTÉ 2 and the RTÉ Player online.