Well, thanks a million, lads. Yeah, like, thanks a million. For telling me about Joanne Hynes. Or rather – yes, you may have noticed some sarcasm in my tone – for not telling me about her. You wanted to keep her stuff all to yourselves. Which I can understand because it's fabaliss.
But, tough bananas – I know all about her now! And I covet every single thing she’s ever designed. (I know my latest Sudden Wild Enthusiasm is acute when I go on ebay looking for stuff from past collections.)
See, all my life, especially when it comes to clothing, I’ve felt “wrong”. High-street fashion offers a punishingly narrow template, which my body is the incorrect shape to shoe-horn itself into. So every day for me, the simple act of getting dressed is an exercise in damage limitation.
The only real option for me is to go quirky. But it has to be the right kind of quirky, if you get me. Not the kind of quirky that has people staring hard, then sniggering involuntarily. (It’s happened.) And Joanne Hynes’ mission statement: “For women who want to express rather than impress,” is what I’m looking for.
Her clothes are so beautiful. Her AW17 collection – apparently inspired by Maude Gonne and Countess Markievicz – is all baroque coats in embellished silk, knitted lurex skirts and dresses in prints of gothic-lite roses with matching leggings.
Feathers, sparkly stones, sequins and velvet abound. Everything can be mixed and matched in countless ways and what I love most are the accessories, the swan motif beanies, the neoprene scarves and especially the silk, rhinestone-print collars.
I can layer up and go the whole hog or I can keep things simple, by wearing a plain navy dress, with one of Joanne’s collars to bring colour and life to my face.
And the best thing of all – the entire collection is available from Dunnes. Dunnes!
