Homeless fathers are often “not seen as fathers” by homeless services, a view that exacerbates their sense of failure as parents – causing trauma and driving some to distance themselves further from their children, a landmark new report finds.
It says many adult men in emergency accommodation, though categorised as “single adults without dependants”, are fathers who may or may not share custody of their children. Many “seek to re-engage with those children as part of their exit from homelessness” but lack support to do so.
Titled Fathers who are homeless and do not live with their children: experiences, challenges, and responses, the report is the first on the subject in Ireland. It was commissioned by Focus Ireland and conducted by social services research consultants Quality Matters.
Drawing on interviews with nine fathers who experienced homelessness, service providers and a literature review, the report says homelessness and separation from their children are “interconnected” traumas for fathers that go unrecognised within services, though individual workers can have significant positive impacts.
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There is a “mismatch”, says the report, between social expectations of what a father should be and their “lived experience” of homelessness, causing “psychological distress” – low self-esteem, guilt, shame and a loss in confidence as a parent.
One father said: “[It was] devastating. I felt like a criminal even though I did nothing wrong. I had no record, but it was devastating to me. It takes away your demeanour, your character, you feel like a prisoner. It takes away your soul.” The pain can lead many to use alcohol and drugs, says the report.
Most emergency accommodation for single adults does not allow children on the premises.
“For many fathers, a lack of dedicated, child-friendly spaces to see their children created significant barriers in maintaining relationships with their children,” says the report, making them dependent on a good relationship with their children’s mother or their own family to see their children.
“In interviews, fathers expressed how access to their children resulted in improvements to their wellbeing, such as feelings of self-confidence, a sense of happiness, self-belief as a parent, and a sense of security or peace of mind.
Not being recognised as a parent created difficulties securing appropriate housing to have a relationship with them. “In most cases, the children were living with their other parent, so housing authorities did not recognise their need for accommodation that could house their children. This issue extended into the private market, where it was noted by respondents that the housing crisis has made it unfeasible for a father to secure own-door, non-shared accommodation by himself.”
This is despite a 2019 Supreme Court ruling, known as Fagan v Dublin City Council, in which the court unanimously criticised Dublin City Council for categorising a father as a one-person household, despite being entitled to three-nights per week custody and co-parenting rights. It meant the local authority had to assess him as entitled to multi-bedroom accommodation.
Among those who took part in the research is David (not his real name), who became homeless more than 10 years ago when his relationship with his daughter’s mother broke down.
He told The Irish Times he spent several years couch-surfing, sleeping rough and sleeping in the boiler room of an inner-city flats complex.
“I felt safer on the streets than a lot of the hostels because I didn’t want to go down the road of drugs. I’d get myself into a doorway or a corner, put a jacket over myself.”
He kept in contact with his daughter Joan (not her real name) but he “felt worthless” through this time. A Dublin City Council homelessness worker supported him to access an Iveagh Trust hostel where could rent a room of his own, but he still could not bring his daughter Joan to stay. “I felt so happy there. It was nice and warm, but I had to book a B&B at weekends to be able to have her for overnight stays.”
With the support of an individual caseworker he was encouraged to apply for a two-bedroom home so he could have Joan to stay. He had to convince his ex-partner to put his name on Joan’s birth certificate.
“On paper, I always felt I was just seen as a single bloke. Just because I was homeless, I was still a father. The majority of people don’t understand the turmoil you’re going through [as a homeless parent]. You feel dismissed, like being a father wasn’t part of my situation. It makes you feel even worse, like no one cares.
“I always had Joan at the front of my mind. I wanted to be a good father ... By me getting my name on the birth cert, they couldn’t ignore me any more.”
Four years ago, with the support of his caseworker, he was approved for a housing assistance payment for a two-bedroom apartment.
“The day I got the keys, I was speechless, I couldn’t believe it. I actually took Joan out of school and brought her to see it. Standing there hugging each other. I said, ‘Joan, this is our home’. To be able to go shopping, to buy food, bring it home and to cook Joan a dinner. Just for that alone – it’s priceless.”
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