There’s a huge Halloween jump scare halfway through the first episode of Heat My Home (RTÉ One, 8.30pm) when presenter Kieran McCarthy reveals how much pensioner Sylvia Thompson will have to pay to retrofit her bungalow.
The cost of upgrading her 1950s residence in Kerry to an A energy rating comes in at more than €100,000 – though with the aid of grants, it drops to a piffling €70,000. Thompson has enough savings to cover the figure. Even so, she looks as if she has seen a ghost.
“You can see why people don’t go down that route.”
Of course, the most impressive act of retrofitting is that undertaken by RTÉ, which has continued to churn out property porn-adjacent television even though fewer and fewer viewers in the market for a house can afford one nowadays.
It has done so by tweaking the formula as only true experts can. So instead of following a member of the public as they look for a new residence, we accompany them on their retrofit journey – eye-watering overheads and all.
Heat my Home is presented by engineer Kieran McCarthy, of Cheap Irish Homes quasi-fame. He’s a chipper sort and has the all-important skill of being able to project composure in front of the cameras without appearing to enjoy the attention that bit too much.
Still, he has his work cut out making Heat My Home accessible to viewers. There is simply no hand-waving away the substantial levels of liquidity required to embark on a retrofit. The great irony, of course, is that the taxes of people who couldn’t possibly afford to upgrade their own home are helping to cover the costs of those who can. Welcome to income redistribution, Irish style.
But if the thought of shelling out €70,000 on posh central heating is enough to bring on an out-of-body experience, McCarthy has good news. There are more affordable alternatives. So he reveals as he visits a Co Clare chocolatier who has slashed his energy overheads by installing solar panels. This allows him to make the sweet treats he sells through his wife’s chain of health food stores.
Back in Kerry, the builders are encasing Sylvia Thompson’s house in a “thermal envelope” – which sounds like a plot twist in Star Trek: The Next Generation, but has to do with modern home insulation. All is well in the end as Thompson welcomes friends and neighbours to enjoy her new, super-toasty home.
Heat My Home is well made, and both McCarthy and Thompson are likable (an internet search reveals that Thompson worked as a peace activist in Belfast in the 1980s and later as an environmentalist in Peru – nuggets the series chose not to mention).
But for all the duo’s charm, viewers might find it hard to put themselves in the shoes of someone with tens of thousands of euro to lavish on a home retrofit. In that regard, this new series marks a departure from the traditional RTÉ property show.
Back in the day, most license-fee payers would have aspired to buy a home. Fast forward to 2025, and spending €70,000 on upgrading your home’s energy rating will be a pipe dream for many.
For that reason, Heat My Home’s less aspirational TV is more like a foray into fantasy. Fingers crossed future episodes will offer more affordable options for those who wish to heat their home in an environmentally responsible fashion and without the need for a second mortgage.
