“Cutting edge television” is not a phrase typically associated with Virgin Media One – much less its chirpy morning show, Ireland AM (Virgin Media One, 7am).
Yet it’s here, snuggled on the couch alongside presenters Muireann O’Connell and Tommy Bowe, that a chilling glimpse of the future of light entertainment greets us. In what Virgin Media bills a “world first”, the three-hour broadcast is entirely AI-driven. It’s the Morning Show meets The Terminator. You half expect Arnold Schwarzenegger to robotically stomp in and exclaim Hasta La Vista, Tommy.
What makes it to the screen is equal parts twee and hellish. And while that sounds like Irish light entertainment on a good day, it is telling just how much AI still gets wrong.
For one thing, Irishness. The computer has cooked up a new theme tune that lands like a diddle-dee Götterdämmerung. It sounds like Enya in a waking dream where she trapped in the cheap seats at an all-night Riverdance marathon.
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The longer it goes on, the wonkier it gets. Using ChatGPT to suggest segments and guests, the Ireland AM brings us a “surprise interviewee” in the form of Spencer Matthews, Made in Chelsea star and spouse to Vogue Williams.
Meanwhile, just off Grafton Street, weatherman Deric Hartigan is joined by Christmas-themed trapeze artists and a busker for a duet on Last Christmas. This is cheesy as anything but with a hint of the uncanny valley effect you get with AI.
It’s the same back at studio. The script is cliche-riddled, a mite too perky, and the hosts struggle to keep a straight face.
“Hold on to your aprons, folks,” says a cringing O’Connell, introducing a cookery segment. Meanwhile, Bowe expresses horror over opening graphics featuring a woman performing yoga whose hand is seemingly melting into the pavement. Irish TV hasn’t witnessed nightmare fuel so potent since Ed Sheeran popped up on the Late Late Toy Show.
There is an in-studio avatar, too – a CGI presenter named Conor who looks like a video game character from 15-years-ago. In another segment, presenter Bowe looked different. It was Virgin Media Sport presenter Will Dalton who had been AI generated to look somewhat like Bowe. Then, in the final 10 minutes, the curtain is pulled back, and some experts explain what we’ve just witnessed.
“The AI script wasn’t that good,” says science and technology journalist Elaine Burke, who likens ChatGPT to an “over-enthusiastic intern”. “They need a bit of your personality injected in.”
She’s right – this experiment underscores how far AI has yet to go. Ireland AM: the Cyberpunk edition is undeniably upbeat yet ultimately feels like a never-ending video game cutscene – a digital hall of mirrors from which there is no escape until, in a belated act of mercy, the end credits roll.
