Paul Howard and Gordon D’Arcy share a passion when it comes to writing about rugby. “I think I’ve written 48 books now and at least 32 of them are about rugby” says Howard. “And as Gordon will tell you, I don’t know the first thing about rugby,” he adds, before D’Arcy interjects with “I’m glad you said it!”
The Irish Times columnists are in flying form as they sit down to discuss their new children’s book, Let’s Play Rugby! The book, which invites young children to place themselves at the centre of a rugby match, is published just as the Six Nations tournament begins. And D’Arcy fancies Ireland’s chances at glory again this year.
“I would like to think we have a shot at another Six Nations title,” he says, adding that Ireland’s first match at home to England “is like a double-edged sword. It’ll set us up for the Six Nations, or it’ll take the wind out of our sails very quickly.” But he has “a very good feeling about this group of players”.
Howard wasn’t into rugby growing up, far preferring football, but now he watches a lot of it. “I have to say I struggle with the technical aspects of it – the laws, as they call them,” he says. “I’m always reminded that football has rules, but rugby has laws because they were drawn up by solicitors charging by the billable hour. But I really do enjoy it.”
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So, having got quite the mileage from taking the proverbial out of Dublin’s rugby schools’ culture in his Ross O’Carroll-Kelly novels, has Howard decided to begin supporting a rugby culture among tots now? “That’s right. Gordon has decided to join me in trying to cultivate Ross O’Carroll-Kelly fans when they’re very young,” he says.
“Yes, we’re indoctrinating the next generation,” D’Arcy confirms.
“I’m dreading the day when one of Gordon’s kids is old enough to pick up a Ross O’Carroll-Kelly book and then Gordon will find out how many times he’s been mentioned,” Howard admits.
For now, though, D’Arcy’s three children, who are nine, eight and four, have gone through the full “spectrum of books”. “Everything from picture books, right through the Julia Donaldson books,” says D’Arcy, but one thing he has noticed is that his kids “love the interactive books. That’s always stuck out down through the years.”
This, he explains, is where the idea for the book came from. “Sometimes when you’re with your kids, it’s very much you’re sitting down and you’re telling them the story and they’re curled up and that is a lovely time. Other times there can be a bit of craic with them. And this is definitely a book to have a bit of craic with them.”
The book features a lot of hairy men playing rugby. But for the child who positions themselves as the player in the book, this isn’t an issue, irrespective of whether they’re a boy or a girl, say D’Arcy and Howard. “I gave it to a couple of friends of mine to give to their daughters, and they’d absolutely no issue with taking on men in a Six Nations championship. They’re going to absolutely kick ass.” The authors envisage this book as the first of a series of books. “We want to do, ‘Let’s Play Football’, ‘Let’s Play Tennis’, and girls will feature in the series as well,” they say.
“There’s no indication of who the player is in the book. The player can be anyone who wants to try to help their team win the trophy,” says D’Arcy. “I’ve two daughters and they’ve hopped in and they’re just beating the opposition team.”
We’re all agreed that kids love to get involved in a story and to experience the thrill of the outcome. With that, I explain that we have decided to involve some children in this interview too, and we’ve gathered questions from some of our younger readers to put to the pair.
There’s a fleeting look of panic, but the lads seem ready for the challenge.
Young interrogators
If the ball goes past the try line between the “downer goal” (underneath the posts) and nobody is on it, why is that not a try? Aidan Ó Cianáin (8)
GD: Because somebody has to touch it down for it to be a try. You actually have to touch the ball down with a hand to score a try.
What’s the worst ever injury you received? Caoimhe Doyle (12)
PH: I played football until I was about 11, but I was held back by poor eyesight, lack of talent and moral cowardice. The worst injury I ever had didn’t come from football. It came from ice-skating. I was ice-skating in Smithfield about 20 years ago, trying to impress a girl I was with at the time. Somebody hit me from behind, and I fell forward but my skates stayed stuck into the ice and my kneecap popped out. I was looking at my kneecap sticking out the side of my jeans and it was the sorest thing that ever happened.
GD: I broke my arm in eight places ... My arm just exploded. I’ve got a plate now with about 12 screws in it.
Have you any advice on how to avoid injuries when playing lots of sport? Maria Doyle (14)
GD: Learn how to tackle properly and don’t swing your arms.
PH: Don’t go ice-skating.
What sort of books were you reading when you were seven, not six and not eight, but seven? Madison Brooks (7)
GD: I didn’t read a lot when I was a kid. I really got really into reading when I left school. But the one that stands out for me was a book called Fungus the Bogeyman by Raymond Briggs. Fungus the Bogeyman came from a family of Bogeymen. They used to hide in people’s wardrobes or hide under their bed and frighten them at night. I wasn’t allowed to have the book when I was a kid because my mother had a look and saw the language in it. It was very rough and ready. And they smoked.
PH: I’d be very similar in that as well. I’ve been writing in The Irish Times for 10 years, and I’m sure there’s plenty of people smile at that considering where I would have started academically in school.
Now that you’re a dad, Gordon, how do you feel about your own kids playing rugby? Cara Fleet (11)
GD: Oh really happy. There are risks to walking across the road. Rugby is very responsible with how it looks after players, both in the club game and the professional game. I’m very much of the mind that as long as my kids are playing team sports of some fashion, it doesn’t matter what it is.
What inspired you to become a writer? Abigael Brooks (13)
PH: It was my love of sport. I never had any ambition to write novels or plays or any of the stuff I’ve done. I just wanted to be a sports journalist from the time I was probably 11 years of age. I was really passionate about sport, and when I did read books, as a teenager, they were always books about sport.
Do you still play rugby for fun with your old rugby team-mates? Cían Brooks (9)
GD: I don’t play rugby any more. I’ve had too many bangs and bruises. I play tag rugby with my old club, Landsdowne.
What do you eat for breakfast on match day? Aisling Ní Chianáin (11)
PH: I suppose match day for me is a writing day. I start the day very, very early, about five in the morning, with a bowl of porridge and I put lemon curd into it, a big blob of Greek yoghurt and a handful of blueberries. I usually have chicken and salad for lunch – that’s my match day.
GD: Back when I would have been playing, the day before is more important than the day of the game. The night before you’re trying to have lots of protein, lots of carbohydrates to get all the glycogen in your muscles all topped up, and then on the day of the game, you eat whatever you want. It doesn’t make that much of a difference. Usually a bit of porridge, maybe some scrambled eggs, a small little bit of pasta, but really six hours out from the game I never really eat that much. It’s 12 or 24 hours beforehand – that’s when you need to get all that good energy!
Let’s Play Rugby by Gordon D’Arcy and Paul Howard, illustrated by Ashwin Chacko, will be published by Little Island Books on February 4th
