Nothing compares to the new waxwork of Sinéad O’Connor. Especially not Sinéad O’Connor. One year after the singer’s untimely death, her waxefigy has been unveiled to an unsuspecting public at the National Waxworks Museum beside O’Connell Bridge in Dublin.
It looks nothing like the furious, fiery, evanescent young woman from 1990 whom it is supposed to represent. Instead it resembles a discarded mannequin from an East German department store.
If there’s always been something a little quease-making about waxworks, it’s probably due to their origin in the medieval practice of parading the corpses of dead royals before their subjects after death. In hot weather that could become a little hard to bear, so the solution was to make an effigy in wax instead.
By the 18th century, waxworks were popular attractions in European cities and, despite the arrival of many more modern entertainments, they’ve somehow clung on as a niche tourist attraction. But the lingering scent of death still hangs over the practice.
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Having viewed the Irish Times video of the unveiling of the new figure, I thought I knew what to expect before setting off to see for myself. In the video, museum proprietor Paddy Dunning explains the waxwork is modelled on O’Connor’s most famous performance, in the video for Nothing Compares 2 U. The waxwork, he suggests, “put her forward as a serious artist ... in an emotional video. I think it touched everybody’s hearts”.
To be fair, he also says she’d probably laugh at it. He’s right about that.
Unlike the Terry Wogan statue that terrifies small children in Limerick, or the much-derided Ronaldo effort in Madeira airport, this is not a work of public art. You’ll have to pay (quite a lot) for the privilege of seeing “Sinéad”, “Jedward” and “Father Ted” (who’s actually not bad). Having forked out for a ticket, I make my way gingerly past Albert Einstein, Boris Karloff and a disappointingly-not-life-size T Rex before arriving in a room where Tina Turner, Michael Jackson, Van Morrison and U2 are facing off against Darth Vader and the rest of the Star Wars crew. The whole thing is like a particularly vivid cheese dream.
But wait, what is this shrunken figure lurking beneath Darth’s elbow? Is it Yoda? Could it be Gollum? (quite possible, given Jack Charlton is lurking around the corner in Hogwarts). No, it’s “Sinéad”, small, quiet, submissive, overshadowed, unobtrusive.
I’m sorry, I don’t know what that is, but it sure as hell is not Sinéad O’Connor.
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