A mother who claimed her adult son threatened “to kill me stone dead” and “causes murder” in her home has secured a two-year barring order against him.
Her son, against whom an interim barring order was granted days earlier, attended the emergency domestic violence court at Dolphin House, Dublin, on Friday when his mother sought a full barring order.
The woman, who is in her 60s, said she permitted her son, now in his thirties, to return home 12 years ago when he was homeless.
She said she helped get him off drugs but he sits at home all day, is abusive and has spat at her. She added that he “causes murder” and “upends my home” if he has no cigarettes or the internet goes down.
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His sister is in a relationship with a girl and he has threatened to kill any girl who comes to the house, she said. He “sits up all night talking to himself” and badly needs to “sort himself out”, but “refuses to take any responsibility”, she said.
“I can’t put up with it any more,” she told Judge Mark O’Connell.
When the judge asked the man if he had anything to say, he replied: “Nothing to say; it’s not in my hands.”
When the judge told him it was in his hands, he shook his head.
Addressing his mother, the man said: “We just bump heads, we’re too similar, we have the same personalities.”
He added: “I won’t go on like this anymore, it’s either this or I will kill myself.”
The mother told the judge: “I never want him back in the house. I’ve had 12 years of it, I’m not taking any more.” She said she has taken his name off the tenancy of her home.
Judge O’Connell told the man he was granting a two-year barring order, rather than the maximum three-year barring order, to give him a chance to get assessed and “come to terms with your demons”.
A separate case involved a woman who, earlier this month, got an interim barring order against her adult son for allegedly headbutting her. On Friday, she got a three-year barring order against him. Her son did not attend the hearing.
“His father used to kill me all my life,” the distressed woman said.
Her son is in his early 20s and is addicted to alcohol and drugs, including cocaine, she said. She was trying to save money for a younger son’s First Holy Communion but the older son stole it, she said.
“It is breaking my heart that I have to do this, it is killing me,” she told the judge. “I’ve given him every chance but I have to protect myself. I can’t read but I have said to him I will get you into a place to get you off the drugs, but he doesn’t care.”
Judge O’Connell told the woman she was in a “really difficult situation” and he hoped the barring order would lead to an improvement. When he wished her good luck, she replied: “Thanks, I need it.”
A young woman living in homeless emergency accommodation with her children lowered her head and sobbed when the judge told her he would grant an interim barring order against her partner. He constantly hits her and threatens her before he leaves their accommodation to meet other women, she said, adding: “He believes he can do what he wants.” She is working and is scared to return to the accommodation, where she never has peace, she said.
Telling the woman it “takes a lot of strength and courage to do what you have done”, the judge wished her well. “I hope you and your children will be ok.”
