WE WOULDN’T mind being a fly on the wall at Herman Van Rompuy’s dinner party this week. The EU president announced on Twitter that he had invited Europe’s leaders to an “informal dinner” on Wednesday; the impromptu event has all the makings of a riveting Come Dine with Me episode.

Ostensibly the meeting will give European heads of state an opportunity to hammer out a growth agenda for the region in advance of a key June summit, but of course it will also be a chance to size up the latest entrant to the group – François Hollande.

Seating arrangements will be key – should France’s new president be placed at the right hand of German chancellor Angela Merkel or not? And how should one address this fledgling double-act? Fran-gela doesn’t have quite the same ring as Merkozy, but then again it’s a preferable portmanteau to Mer-de.

Van Rompuy will also be under pressure to strike the right note with the menu. Gruel and tap water might impress the austerity camp; on the other hand splashing out on champagne and foie gras might be a nice token gesture towards stimulating the French economy, a key concern of Hollande.

However, then the host risks implying that France’s new leader is a champagne socialist.

Forget about Oireachtas TV – we want to see this televised.