On July 16th, 2023, my partner Anna and I landed in the safe refuge of Melbourne’s Tullamarine Airport. We had taken the scenic route to get here, having boarded a one-way flight from Dublin to Los Angeles in April.
Seven countries and two weddings later, having held everything from an Oscar statuette to a baby caiman (it’s similar to alligator), I arrived just in time to watch Limerick lift the Liam MacCarthy for the fifth time in six years.
The adventures of getting to Melbourne are the makings of another article. Instead, let me give you some musings on my time in Melbourne, which, boasting an almost identical population to the Republic of Ireland, claims the title of the “third most liveable city in the world”.
Weather woes
Where else to start, but the weather. Truth be told, the more “temperate” climate of Melbourne was the reason we moved here and not to Sydney. We often use the expression “four seasons in a day” to describe the Irish weather and it is true to an extent. However, Melbourne takes that to an entirely new level.
Here one suffers the extreme of each season and in rapid succession. It can be an absolute scorcher, followed by torrential rain with some hurricane-esque wind thrown in for good measure. With each passing day I learn more about the art of layering. Despite my initial stubbornness, I now walk most places with an umbrella, even if its use is never assured.
That said, as the summer nudges in, thankfully, the sun wins out.
Although the consistency of the Irish weather is to be welcomed, ultimately, Melbourne wins this one. When it’s good, it’s very good.
Winner: Melbourne
Political polarisation
Melbourne is the metropolitan heartland of Victoria, but there is more to the state than this city alone. The urban-rural divide exists as much here as it does in Ireland and the rest of the world.
As you would expect, the urban pulse aligns with global connectivity, diverse cultures and cosmopolitan vibes, while the rural tends toward traditional values and conservatism.
That tug-of-war played out in the recent Voice referendum, which centred around the establishment of a constitutional body to advise the Australian government on matters affecting the Indigenous population.
In Melbourne, the city voted for change, while the countryside held firm – a pattern that was reflected around the country and ultimately led to the referendum’s defeat.
As an outsider, I steered clear of the debate as much as possible, but having spoken to those on both sides, who had passionate views on the subject, it’s clear that the same polarisation we observe in Ireland, Europe and elsewhere has company in the southern hemisphere.
One to watch going forward.
Verdict: Draw
Caffeine and culinary culture
I drank my first coffee in 2017. I never much liked the taste – however, as an Erasmus student in Italy, it seemed like the right time to take the plunge. I’ve since come to rely on the substance far more than I care to admit, but had managed (until arriving here at least), to refrain from becoming that most insufferable creature – a coffee snob.
I’ve now gone over to the dark side.
I had heard of Melbourne’s famed coffee culture, but I hadn’t quite expected the stares – ranging from pity to apathy – on my use of the office coffee machine (apparently, it’s just for show).
As you might expect, there are hundreds of top-quality hole-in-the-wall cafes here and a similar number of consequential queues.
As for my order, despite learning the entirely new terminology here (an Americano is a “long black”), I have remained relatively loyal to the flat white, although I do change up the milk every now and again. This has had hit and miss results – my recent experiment with yeast-based milk being an example of the latter!
Second in importance to coffee, but still of immense pride to Melburnians is their city’s culinary repertoire, which is an odyssey in itself.
Influenced heavily by the multicultural tapestry of its people, the Melbourne food scene boasts a new flavour on every corner and in every laneway. Whether it’s pho in Footscray, dumplings in Chinatown or a hearty Italian feast on Lygon Street, one is never spoilt for choice.
While Ireland is certainly improving, the diversity of choice available here is in a different stratosphere.
Verdict: Melbourne
Footpath faux-pas
From the triumph of Melbourne’s coffee and culinary scene, comes a not-unrelated negative – footpath etiquette.
Navigating Melbourne’s footpaths is what I imagine it’s like to participate in slow-motion interpretive dance.
Pedestrians have been afflicted by the disease of leisurely strolling. Rather than waiting at the corner of a junction for the lights to change, they inexplicably form almost single-file queues, which causes much more chaos, confusion and congestion for other footpath users.
Even more egregious, Melbournians have decided that there is no need for a quick backward glance before changing directions, which has, on more than one occasion, led to a collision.
Fear not, as a 6ft 2in Irishman who loves a good shoulder, I tend to come out on the right side.
Ireland easily wins this one – long may we continue to be a nation who walks with purpose.
Verdict: Ireland
While this article is just a bit of fun, it is worth noting that my experience of Melbourne has been overwhelmingly positive.
My “Irishness” has only ever proved an asset on my travels. From renting an apartment, settling into a new job and navigating all that comes with moving abroad, the Australians have been incredibly welcoming.
No doubt, this is due to the positive impact of the many Irish before me.
Is fearr clú ná conach.
- Declan Keane is 28 and from Adare, Co Limerick. He qualified as a solicitor in March 2023 and relocated to Melbourne, Australia, to join his partner who was then a doctor in Perth. He works as a solicitor with Norton Rose Fulbright.
- If you live overseas and would like to share your experience with Irish Times Abroad, email abroad@irishtimes.com with a little information about you and what you do.
