SEPTEMBER ROAD:HOW many TV stations outside of Ireland would allow the profanities of a sports manager on a sideline to continue to be clearly heard by viewers at home?

While we listened to Davy Fitzgerald last weekend, ermm, criticise a few of the referee’s decisions, we thought what most people were thinking: Where’s the originality?

Colourful insults are a staple diet of GAA supporters. All of us have heard them thrown from the sidelines, especially in the direction of the referee. Some are obvious and stale.

Every time a referee gives a controversial decision there’s someone to shout “take it yourself, ref” (though every time Cork referee Michael Collins makes a 50/50 call the shout is: “They killed the wrong Michael Collins”.)

Which reminds us of another one that’s as regular as a Kerry man giving out about media bias. When the “Rebels, Rebels” chant goes up by supporters from Leeside, someone somewhere in the ground turns to the person beside them and comments: “Rebels? Sure they killed the only one they had!”

And we don’t know who was the first Galway man to shout: “If Lee Harvey Oswald had been from Mayo, JFK would still be alive and kicking.”

It’s at club games that supporters can truly put their originality to the test, like a comedian at a local open-mic night.

One particular favourite was at a junior club game in Kilkenny when a particularly unfit full back made a burst up the field, and then took his time returning to his position. Cue the insult from the sideline: “Stay where you are, Richie, we’ll send a Kavanaghs bus for you!”

Whatever about insulting opposition players insulting one of your own is a bit pathetic.

Especially, the nasty ones such as “if they won’t take you off, for God’s sake walk off”.

The only one we’ve ever heard that we couldn’t help but laugh at was shouted at a player that went along the lines of: “Keep the head up Michael, it’s not your fault, it’s the feckin’ eejits that picked ya.”

And there was the time when, just before the second half of a match, a defender flattened the corner forward who had been causing him trouble earlier in the game.

As the referee consulted an umpire, one of the selectors on the opposing team, who was standing over the injured player, shouted: “He’s okay, ref, it was just a touch of sunstroke.”

THERE’S ALWAYS ONE

Next Saturday the first round of the All-Ireland football championship takes place.

It’s a long way from the first round of the qualifiers in June to the All-Ireland final in September, but it has been done (step forward Tyrone and take a bow).

In fact, in each of the last five seasons, at least one team has overcome being dumped into the qualifiers at the first opportunity to reach the All-Ireland semi-final.

So it stands to reason that one of the 16 sides on view this weekend will still be training come August

So who will it be?

Last year’s All-Ireland finalists Down are among the 16 – the others being Antrim, Cavan, Clare, Fermanagh, Laois, London, Longford, Louth, Meath, Monaghan, Offaly, Sligo, Tipperary, Westmeath, Wicklow.

As the lotto ad goes, it could be you!

"Attended appeal on red card. Its not been overturned, 'as it is probable the offence occured' . . . absolutely ragin! Witchhunt? – An easy winner of the 'Quote of the Week', with Meath's Brian Farrell tweeting his disappointment at failing in his appeal against a red card.