There are many times in life when you reach a fork in the road and wonder to yourself what’s next? You can only float along at the same pace doing the same things for so long before you need to make a decision, draw a line in the sand, and set a new target.

One such moment of truth jumped out at me last weekend when I was preparing to get back on that old familiar plane from Melbourne to Ireland. I always like to go for a run, or do some hour of exercise, before boarding the plane. Once you step into that airport there’s no fresh air for the next 24 hours, so it’s a good idea to burn a bit of energy, get some endorphins flowing, before being confined in the plane for so long.

The only problem facing me was that I wasn’t jumping out of bed and racing out the door, as I would usually do. I was fiddling around with last-minute packing, putting off what deep down I knew was the most important thing I had to do that day. That’s because I now realise it’s not just about the time you spend running, but also the feeling you get afterwards. That’s what makes the run so much more worthwhile, the reason for running in the first place.

Only this time I found myself being herded around the house by our dog Snowy. Everywhere I turned, Snowy was there. There was no getting away from my procrastination any longer.

Energy levels

I had decided the night before that I would run to Wattle Park, a nice, easy 15km loop I’ve run countless times before. It’s a strange thing though, when you don’t have a reason or purpose, the energy levels are not the same. It can sometimes take about 5km into the run before I get going, when the thoughts begin to sing in my head, and I start to float along.

It was around this time last year that I decided to run the Dublin Marathon. At the time I was only just back running after an Achilles tendon injury, so it seemed a rash decision, but as it turned out it gave me so much purpose and motivation for the rest of the year.

I had prepared diligently, knew what pace I could run, and it was hugely satisfying to make a plan, put in the work and cross the finish line without reverting to elite athlete training. I enjoying the whole process as much as anything I’ve done.

Back in my competitive days, I was running around 160km each week, twice a day, every day, and even if I wanted to go back to such a regime for the Dublin Marathon I knew my body wouldn’t last out until October.

So I followed a trimmed down program, decided the most important aspects I had to cover were the weekly long run, gradually increasing the distance, plus a faster session once a week. Then just fill the rest of the week with varying distance runs.

With more and more people running marathons for purely non-competitive reasons I wanted to share in that experience, and it gave me a chance to connect with runners all over Ireland throughout the year. And it was very special to go to the start line with runners from Ballymore Cobh AC, something I hadn’t done since back in school.

I’m surprised myself sometimes that running still has such a positive and energising influence on my daily life. I’m so much more productive when I’m energised and awakened by a run; everything else I have to do in the day just flows so much easier. I can see things more clearly, make better decisions.

It’s such a small part of the day but in many ways the most important part. So why then does the mind sometimes question our motivation and throw some obstacles in the way?

I think it is a question of productivity. For 20 years running was my job. At the time of course I never saw it as a job, but I knew that there were races coming up, so I had to prepare as best I could so that I was ready to compete and achieve the results I wanted. There was always a timeline to work to and races on the horizon. Running was a much bigger part of my day, and everything I did throughout the day was influenced by the weekly training schedule laid out in advance.

Now I find myself  trying to put running in a corner, and not let it take up so much of my life, as I know there are so many other things that I need to work on and get through each day. This is probably why I am just floating along with no real targets in mind for 2016 yet.

Immediately after the Dublin Marathon I thought to myself “that was great”, I think I’ll do the London Marathon next year. Then the reality hit in, as I was enjoying the rest and recovery a little too much, and couldn’t quite get my head around another marathon. Maybe I was thinking about it too much but when you make a mark you want to hold that level for another while.

So far this year I’ve been alternating swimming and running. Even though my swimming is improving a bit, my running is just floating along in the holding zone, maintaining a little bit of fitness until I zone in on something to focus on.

Slow down

Only last Tuesday I ran from Trinity College to Sandymount along the seafront, up over the hill at Seán Moore Park. It was a beautiful morning, and I didn’t need any reason to run, just an appreciation and satisfaction that I could still run, and return full of joy and satisfaction that only running can bring.

We all know it’s difficult to slow down. It’s even more difficult to accept slowing down, and be content with what we can do just for the pure joy of completion and achievement. But now I am looking at the signposts, to see what stands out as a challenge to aim for this year.

Maybe it’s time to get back on the bike. Running has always been my first love. But cycling and swimming have become a great way to take the weight off my legs and maintain the fitness. I’ve swam a 3.8km race and run a marathon within the last six months, so maybe it’s time to complete all the pieces of an Ironman within a year. I still find it hard to believe some people do that in one day.