"Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Tolka Park,

Not a football was stirring, all around it was dark,

Shelbourne, they sat proudly, top of the league table,

No others could beat them, not one team was able.

When out on the pitch there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bar stool to see what was the matter,

When, what through my bloodshot eyes should appear,

But a massive big sleigh, hauled by a million reindeer,

With a ginormous driver in a furry red hat,

I knew in a moment it must be Santa Pat,

`I'm here to surrender, the title's all yours,

The Real Reds have won it, yiz dirty feckin hoors'.

Sez he, `It's all over, I'll bid you good night,

I'm off to spread tarmac over the Stadium of Blight',

But I heard him exclaim, e're he drove out of sight,

`Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night'."

Christmas greetings from Shelbourne supporter Fintan Cassidy (and apologies from us to Pat Dolan and all St Pat's fans who might possibly be offended by his ode).