According to the last census, there were 4,588,252 residents of the Republic of Ireland, so going by those figures, you'd imagine in or around 4,588,251 gathered around their tellies last night, tuning in to ITV, the sole stray oblivious to Irish football's man-on-the-moon moment.
Show time.
Adrian Chiles: "I'm delighted to say that with Lee [Dixon] and me tonight we have the new Republic of Ireland management team. Congratulations! Martin, the question on everyone's lips, why choose Roy to work with?"
Martin O’Neill: “I’ve asked myself that many a time in the last 48 hours. But he’s coming with me, personally speaking I think he’ll be great for me but more importantly he’ll be great for the Republic of Ireland.”
Adrian: “Roy?”
Roy Keane: "Fantastic news, delighted, obviously, honoured that Martin's asked me to go and help him with the team. Very excited – I mightn't look it, but I am. I'm looking forward to working with the players and trying to get to the Euros."
Martin: [cheeky grin]
Adrian: “It’s Yin and Yang. I don’t know who’s Yin and who’s Yang, but it’s a marriage made in heaven. Possibly.”
Roy: [Even cheekier grin]
Martin: “Well, I think I’m the bad cop and I think he’s the bad, bad cop.”
Roy: [chuckle]
Martin: “I think we’re excited by it, it’s look as if we’ve something to go with, I’m looking forward to it, greatly.”
Lee: “They’ve asked me to be kit man, but I turned them down, couldn’t agree personal terms.”
Roy and Martin: [chuckle]
Adrian: “I’ve got the coach driver’s job, and that is the end of it, we are all going to be very happy together.”
And that was it.
Just the 54 seconds, although it stretched to 69 if you included the Lee/Adrian banter.
They then went on to chat about the Real Sociedad v Manchester United Champions League ding dong, like that even mattered in the scheme of things, although it was with some relief that Roy didn't respond to news of Marouane Fellaini's inclusion in United's starting line-up with "well, he couldn't be worse than friggin' Darron Gibson, who they did well to flog to Everton".
Transfer catastrophes
At that point Martin would have had to intervene with a "Roy? Hush", but instead, Roy called for patience on the Fellaini matter, it was too early to deem him the mother of all transfer catastrophes.
He’s maturing, then, and Martin looked proud.
The body language? A bit “OMG, what have we done-ish”, some gentle rocking on the feet, but, on the whole, a bit awesome.
"They've got the two best in the business, the two most interesting characters in Irish football coming together," Niall Quinn told Sky Sports News a bit earlier, and you couldn't but smile, Saipan seems like, oh, a fair bit ago.
Although.
'Traitor'
"I'm giving back my season ticket, he's a TRAITOR," as one put it on the radio yesterday (about Roy, not Martin), so not everyone has moved on completely.
John Delaney, chief executive of the Football Association of Ireland has, though, he insisted, when he made 9,052-ish media appearances yesterday.
Still, you’d pay anything to see a screenshot of his face when Martin told him who was his chosen assistant.
“Ha, ha, good one Mart – now, seriously, who do you want?”
No more sing songs, maybe, but we’re in for mighty interesting times. It’ll be a blast.
