“Lionel Messi is coming to town to play the Dynamo and ticket prices are soaring,” read the headline in the Houston Chronicle on Friday ahead of Inter Miami’s MLS game against Houston Dynamo on Sunday evening.
Like most MLS clubs, Houston try to take full advantage of Messi playing on their home turf, prices for tickets to games against Inter Miami usually going through the roof. As an example, tickets for Columbus Crew games in Messi’s first season in the States could be got for as little as $40 (€39). For his visit? They ranged from $380 to $680 (€366-655).
And often, clubs get cute with their sales, as a Houston fan by the name of Bill Dan revealed on the tweet machine. “I was forced to buy a five game package to get this game, spending almost triple for the other games than what I would spend on the resale market.”
You know what’s coming. When Miami announced their squad on Saturday ... there was no Messi. He was being rested. “Feel awful for whoever paid $800 for my pair, God bless you,” said a tweetin’ tout. By way of compensation, Houston are offering free entry to another of their home games this season. How did that go down? “This,” tweeted another, “is why no one will ever take this league seriously.”
Quote
“I’ve got to say the ‘assist’ is the most useless statistic in world football. Seriously, it could come off your backside, fall to somebody on the halfway line, he scores – and it’s an assist.” Ange Postecoglou, clearly not a Fantasy Football gaffer – an assist can, of course, be the entire highlight of your week, even it comes off a backside.
By the Numbers: 8
That’s how many seconds goalkeepers will be allowed hold the ball next season – one second more and it’ll be a corner to the opposing team. Stopwatches at the ready.
Word of Mouth
“My favourite film? The Lion King. I watch it maybe twice each day.” – Chelsea’s Marc Cucurella on watching The Lion King up to 730 times a year. Even Simba would say, ‘enough already’.
“He spent so many years playing for Liverpool, he didn’t win the ****ing Premier League. He can **** off. If he won a major tournament with England I might understand, but he won **** all.” – How well did former Nigeria international John Obi Mikel take Jamie Carragher’s suggestion that the Africa Cup of Nations is not a major tournament? Not great.
“This is corruption! I’ve never seen anything like it! You can write it down: It’s planned, it’s rigged! This is a shitty championship!” – Marseille president Pablo Longoria not taking the club’s 3-0 defeat by Auxerre, during which they had a man sent off, tremendously well. The 15-match ban he subsequently received, from “all official functions” at Stade Velodrome, didn’t, presumably, lighten his mood.
Yellow omens
Harry Redknapp on talkSPORT: “I got a message from a trainer called Graeme McPherson saying he’s got a nice horse for sale called Yellow Car. I thought no, I don’t want to buy another horse. I get a knock at the door, it’s the girl who does our cleaning. She says ‘hello Harry, I took my car in for a service, look what they’ve given me: this yellow car’. I thought, this is an omen. So I went back on the phone and bought the bleedin' horse. I hope the missus isn’t listening because she doesn’t know about this one yet.”
She does now Harry, she does now.
A most coveted prize
Richard Keys, once of the Sky Sports parish before he transferred to BeIN Sports, was appalled last week. “I’m trying to get my head ‘round this. Really? In 2025? Would this happen in the women’s game?” He was referring to a Daily Mail article on a survey carried out to discover the game’s “sexiest footballer”. Richard mustn’t have access to the interweb, because if he used the Google he’d find close enough to daily surveys on who is the women’s game sexiest footballer.
Any way, you’d half suspect that Cristiano Ronaldo would prefer to top this poll than even the Ballon d’Or. But? The news is grim for the lad. With just 6 per cent of the vote, he finished in a mortifying eighth, Cole Palmer the winner.
Players were ranked based on facial features, physique, charisma, and personal style, so Erling Haaland is entitled to feel even more aggrieved than Cristiano – he picked up a mere 4 per cent of the vote. The good news? “He topped the charts in Scotland for his powerful physique and striking features.” A move to Celtic? Imminent.
