Last 16: England 2 Slovakia 1
“WHO ELSE?” Jude Bellingham was screaming into the crowd, referring to himself.
Maybe this is what separates the great ones from the merely very good. Not necessarily just talent – but a self-belief so total as to seem amnesiac, even shameless.
Bellingham had spent most of the previous half-hour flopping under challenges in an attempt to win free kicks around the Slovakian penalty area. It was hard to remember a single constructive thing he had done to aid England’s apparently doomed quest for a goal.
Yet to him it still seemed perfectly logical, even obvious, that he had just scored a last-minute equaliser with a bicycle kick.
At Schalke, the club of Klaus Fischer, he had produced a moment of inspiration that had saved the campaign, saved his manager, saved the summer – for six more days at least.
This game had been a nightmare for England from the first couple of minutes, when Kieran Trippier’s nervous pass back to Marc Guehi forced the centre-back to take a booking that will keep him out of the quarter-final.
Slovakia had started busily, energetically, winning the ball and attacking fast, their Italian manager Francesco Calzona barking instructions from the side, a contrast to Gareth Southgate, who stood and watched while his anxious players barked at each other. The underdogs’ bright start was rewarded on 25 minutes with a memorable opening goal.
It would not have been possible without some incredible anti-defending from Kyle Walker, who sprinted away from the danger zone as though he feared the ball was about to explode, and Declan Rice, sleeping peacefully in midfield as the goalscorer Ivan Schranz burst away from him into the England box.
Nor can we forget Jordan Pickford, who had spent most of the time up till then verbally attacking team-mates for their errors and shortcomings. Yet when the moment came to attack the ball, he froze like a small woodland creature who was hoping not to be noticed. Schranz’s first touch was not perfect but Pickford’s failure to close down meant there was plenty of space to find the finish.
With the onus now on England to create, the spotlight fell on their inability to make anything happen in the game other than by accident. Rice continued in his recent vein of providing more ammunition to his critics than service to his team-mates. Only Kobbie Mainoo was moving the ball quickly enough to unsettle the Slovakian defence.
Even before half-time the fast-starting Slovaks had started to tire, but England continued to look clueless. Kieran Trippier was constantly free in a left-wing position – why not use someone who might be actually dangerous there? No sooner had the thought occurred than Kane spun and picked the unmarked Trippier out with a diagonal ball. The full-back controlled carefully and crossed for Foden, who had run ahead of the ball. Offside.
Would a more natural winger have played it faster? Moments later: a deus ex machina as Trippier was injured in a tackle. Palmer came on to play right-wing with Bukayo Saka moving to left-back. Would the forced change help Southgate to win this game by mistake?
They were knocking on the door, not with the insistent menacing tone of the secret police who come to take you away at five in the morning, but like a man who realises he has lost his keys in the pub and might soon give up and sleep on the step.
With 20 minutes to go, the match was set up like Manchester United 1-0 down at home to a Sheffield United side who look absolutely gassed. You feel United will scramble one in, but it’s unclear where it’s going to come from.
And United would probably have produced at least one shot on target by this stage. Even with Palmer added to the mix England remained desperately short of ideas, their passing so slow and tentative it reminded you of someone trying to edge down a flight of stairs while peering under the bottom of a blindfold. The long ball remained the usual recourse at the end of their moves, hoping for lucky bounces and chaos.
They were knocking on the door, not with the insistent menacing tone of the secret police who come to take you away at five in the morning, but like a man who realises he has lost his keys in the pub and might soon give up and sleep on the step.
Phil Foden curled in a free-kick which Kane met with a free header that he nailed wide of the near post. A huge miss. Then Rice cut on to his right foot and struck the post with a bouncing shot. The rebound fell to Kane who slashed at it with a scissors kick, into the ground and over the bar.
Six minutes of injury time. Pickford slung another long pass from midfield. Stones the target-man fell heavily on his face. In the 95th minute, a last desperate corner and ... then who else.
In the break before extra time England’s players huddled urgently, while Slovakia’s group looked like a field hospital as players lay on their backs receiving treatment. This did not look like a contest any more. Sure enough, England scored with their second shot on target, two minutes after their first. Eze’s miscue from outside the box bounced kindly for Ivan Toney to flick across goal, and Kane buried a header from four yards.
At half-time in extra-time England took off Bellingham and Kane, and went into a defensive shell against which the exhausted Slovaks beat like flies against a windowpane.
All the way, all the way, sang the England fans. Can they stumble all the way?
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