It was notable that Roy Keane and Gary Neville were dressed in black from head to toe like they were in mourning even before the game kicked off, perhaps anticipating a day as indigestible as that 0-7 last March. Certainly after what he’d witnessed in recent weeks Roy had limited enough expectations.
“What are you hoping for from United today,” David Jones asked him.
“I’m hoping they turn up,” he replied.
In truth most United fans were hoping they wouldn’t, that maybe their coach would take a wrong turn en route to Anfield and end up somewhere near Skegness. Among them was Rory McIlroy, an uber United supporter, who Gary and Jamie Carragher bumped into on the Anfield pitch pre-match, Tyrrell Hatton, cradling the Ryder Cup in his arms, alongside him.
“How can United win this game,” Jamie asked.
“Emmmm…….,” said Rory.
So even he couldn’t come up with a path to glory, sensing United were suffering from a severe dose of the yips and that this might well be the longest of days in a cricket score kind of way.
But Peter Drury, in the commentary box, was doing his utmost to keep viewers tuned in lest they felt it might be a no-contest and they’d be better off using the time to walk the dog. This, he told us, was an “all-consuming day of eternal red mist of timeless fury”.
That was the mother of all build-ups, but probably more descriptive of the United faithful’s response to the team news, Antony, the right winger who doesn’t possess a right foot, and Jonny Evans, who made his United debut alongside Bobby Charlton, among those included.
Off we went. After 27 minutes it was 7-0 to Liverpool but only in corners rather than goals, so that was a positive for United, although the half-time stats made Roy shift a little uncomfortably in his seat even though stats annoy him intensely.
“Fifteen shots for Liverpool, two for United,” David told him. “It’s 66 per cent to 34 in possession for Liverpool. It’s 9-0 in corners for Liverpool. And United had one touch in the opposition box, their lowest since Opta started recording these things 14 years ago.”
“But,” said Roy, “it’s 0-0.”
That it was, rendering all other stats pointless, the frustration leaving Liverpool fans plucking the hair from their head strand by strand. And it got no better for them in the second half, Diogo Dalot’s sending off coming too late to give them a chance of taking advantage of United’s 10 men – it would have been nine but Antony had been subbed by then.
Why was Dalot sent off? “It’s dissent twice,” explained Sky’s refereeing expert Mike Dean. “What does ‘dissent twice’ mean,” asked Gary. “He’s done it twice, Gary,” he said. Jamie snorted so loudly he woke the viewers from their sleep.
A scoreless draw, then. Gary was stunned. “Well done to United for showing a little bit of fight,” he said, the kindest thing he’s been able to say about them for the bulk of the season. Roy was happy enough too, saluting United’s captain for the day. “Scott [McTominay] did well to win the toss,” he said, in a moving tribute.
He was steaming, though, after hearing Virgil van Dijk’s post-match interview when he said only one team wanted to win the game. “A lot of arrogance coming out of him, he needs a reminder that he’s playing for a club that has won one title in 30 odd years.”
And Jurgen Klopp was steaming himself when Sky’s Patrick Davison told him that their pundits had anticipated a walk in the park for Liverpool and wondered if that uber confidence had seeped into his team. “I think you overestimate your influence slightly, we couldn’t be bothered with what you say, I would recommend pretty much everybody not being bothered.”
A tetchy end to the day then. And these poor lads won’t even have a break for Christmas to recover from it all. Unlike Andy Murray who used his break to be taught how to cook smoked haddock kedgeree by Mary Berry.
“I can hear it gently sizzling,” she said when she checked the haddock in the oven. “Is that a good thing,” asked a worried Andy.
Much like a scoreless draw at Anfield when your last league outing ended in a 3-0 home mullering by Bournemouth, it most certainly was. It’s been a while, after all, since United gently sizzled Liverpool with a 0-0 win.
