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“There is no one ahead of me in football terms – not Pep, not Klopp, not Arteta. In terms of depth of knowledge, I am up there with them.”
Welcome back, Big Sam.
Number: 22
“If everybody improves just a little bit, by one or two per cent, then that is a 22 per cent increase overall in the team.” Those of us with ropey maths are still trying to work out Big Sam’s equation.
Champions League comedown for McCabe’s Arsenal
Last week was a bit of a mad one for the Arsenal women’s team. On Monday evening their hearts were left in smithereens when they were knocked out of the Champions League at the semi-final stage, Wolfsburg scoring the tie’s winner in extra time at the Emirates.
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There was no little pride, though, in them attracting a record crowd of 60,063 to the stadium, but as is often the case after these historic attendances in the women’s game, the teams then return to their regular bases.
So, on Friday night, Arsenal were back at their usual haunt of Meadow Park for their league game against Leicester, Irish captain Katie McCabe missing a penalty before Frida Maanum’s excellent goal gave them the win that kept them in touch with the top three (Manchester United, Manchester City and Chelsea).
Meadow Park’s capacity is 4,500, so it was a heck of comedown from that Emirates crowd. Was manager Jonas Eidevall bothered? Nope.
“I can really enjoy fine dining, but I can really like a place where it is just greasy food and cold beer as well – I can do both. That might be a very weird analogy, but it’s the best one I can think about right now.”
It’ll do grand.
Word of mouth
“Hands up, a silly mistake that cost us a point at the end.”
Luke Shaw with a rather apt apology for conceding that injury time penalty to Brighton when, well, he put his hands up.
“He will point at me after a game and say: ‘Hey. Don’t you go out tonight partying.’ I just tell him to shut up and go and sit in his ice bath.”
Jack Grealish confirming what we suspected – he and Erling Haaland are quite different.
“The judge has left Sammy unemployed because he’s on jury service, he won’t let him off and I find that to be very, very poor judgment indeed. It’s a real shame because the wee man loves being with me, and I love him.”
Sam Allardyce explaining why his usual trusty assistant Sammy Lee wouldn’t be joining him on Project Rescue Leeds, finding the judge guilty of being mean.
Football food felonies
If you’ve visited a bunch of football grounds in your time you’ll know that the quality of the food available can vary quite spectacularly, burgers often resembling roadkill, chips so limp you’d wonder if they ever met a potato, and hot dogs so gruesome you’d be close to calling the gardaí.
The ceaselessly entertaining @FootyScran Twitter account is the authority on monitoring the very best and worst of foodie offerings at grounds around the world, the photos of said scran leaving you either nauseous or drooling.
But it was a chap by the name of The Oldham Groundhopper who shared a photo of footy grub like no other: a mushy peas sandwich.
He paid £1.50 for this treat at the ground of Northern Premier League club Marske United, the club defending itself by pointing out that it has “a fairly extensive menu” aside from this monstrosity and “also have things like chocolate bars and crisps”.
Still, the sight of that mushy peas sandwich will live long in the memory. As one comment on the Mirror’s website put it, “my hankie looks like that after a bout of flu and lung congestion”.
More Word of Mouth
“Would you believe, there are still nights when I dream I am a footballer? I occasionally have to apologise for kicking my wife when I’m asleep.”
And Graeme Souness kicked like few others, so spare a thought for his beloved’s shins.
“I will go home now and play some video games – I cannot say which games, it’s too embarrassing.”
If Erling Haaland celebrated breaking the Premier League single-season scoring record – with his 35th goal of the campaign against West Ham last week – by playing Crash Bandicoot when he got home, then he’s an even bigger ledge that we realised. Or better still, Monkey Island.
“Kvaratskhelia is the combination of two extraordinary players: George Best and Cristiano Ronaldo.”
How impressed is Paolo Di Canio by Napoli’s Kvicha Kvaratskhelia? Quite a bit.
