Wayne Bennett is an icon in Australian sport.
A Rugby League coach, Bennett is revered for coaching seven winning Premiership teams in Australia’s elite National Rugby League (NRL) competition.
In addition to that, through almost 50 years of coaching, he has helped several generations of men who have come under his influence to grow and prosper as people away from their sport.
A large number of his former players attribute their success to Bennett’s influence on their lives away from the playing arena. He is not only a coach, he is a role model and mentor.
The extraordinary 73-year-old is the current head coach of a new Brisbane-based NRL franchise, the Redcliffe Dolphins. Recently he spoke from the heart about his observations regarding young men.
“What I’ve noticed about young men, and I’ve been doing this for 50 years now, is that we are not as resilient as we used to be. We sook more than we ever sooked. We can give up more easily than we ever [did].
“Young men still want to succeed and be successful, but you also have to harden them up for what’s in front of them out there. And their mums and dads aren’t doing it. And their uncles and aunties aren’t doing it. But coaches are. Tough love it’s called.”
The resilience Bennett is referring to is a combination of grit, dedication, determination, plus a refusal to quit and instead to persist after encountering a setback. Predictably, some reactions to his comments were that Bennett is just an old man who is out of touch. The facts tell another story.
Bennett’s Dolphins team were predicted to come last in this, their debut season. After the opening six rounds of the NRL season, the Dolphins have already produced some famous victories over some of the competition’s giants. They are currently only four points behind the league leaders.
This young team, like all he has coached in the past, are thriving in the environment under Bennett’s long-proven regime of tough love and personal respect.
Bennett believes that our institutions, including many schools and families, are failing our young men. It has fallen to coaches to use sport as an educational tool to help guide them.
Bennett uses the words, “to harden them up for what is in front of them out there”. “Out there” is not the sporting arena. It is the battle of living life.
The true mission of sport is to provide a safe environment where young people can learn about themselves and how they can contribute in a collaborative manner to society. Crucially, sport also provides boundaries for behaviour.
This mission has been all but lost within our communities.
Rugby’s tradition of calling male referees “sir” and shaking hands after the match, before the defeated team forms a tunnel to applaud the winners from the field, seems old-fashioned. Possibly even Victorian.
But these traditions were created as boundaries that reinforce to the young players that the laws and ethos of the game are far greater than any single win or defeat, so they must be respected. These boundaries also taught players how to control their emotions when confronted with both success and defeat.
The vast majority of coaches across all sports are still providing many of these valuable experiences to their players. And in good sporting environments, the young people involved are thriving.
I can say this from first-hand experience as I play a small part in helping to coach the young men in the Centre de Formation, or academy, at Racing Club Narbonne in southern France.
Those in charge of the academy insist on high standards of personal behaviour and the training sessions are rigorous. Yet amidst the striving to succeed, there is lots of laughter, friendship and the spirit of a community that is connected by their love of the game and the heritage of their cherished black and orange jersey.
Although the once famous club is playing down in the French third division, its academy still competes at the elite end of French rugby. It is one of the least-funded academies in the elite competition. There are precious few rugby balls, no water bottles at training and little equipment. There are no physiotherapists or strapping.
Despite the lack of funds and equipment, the powerful environment created by the coaches is paying dividends. A few weeks ago, Narbonne’s Under-23 Espoir team won against Clermont and only last weekend they travelled to Paris and defeated Stade Français. Recently their very talented Under-16 team defeated the might of the great Toulouse Academy 15-3.
This is an example of young men thriving in an environment created by coaches who have set boundaries, with both positive and negative consequences for the individual and collective behaviours of their players. The players have opened themselves up to experience the highs of winning, the disappointment of defeat and even the possibility of not being selected.
They are brave enough to compete with the full understanding that defeat is their constant companion. Which is the true essence of all we endure across the struggles of our lives. All of these experiences are planting and nurturing the seeds of resilience within the players.
As Bennett says this is “preparing them for what’s ahead of them”.
Getting knocked down eight times but getting up nine.
Every generation of humanity has the same potential energy for the joys of life as in the past. We just have to guide them by being brave enough to let them experience Bennett’s type of love. Some of that love is tough, but it is love all the same.
