PLANET SOCCER:RAFA BENITEZ was off again last week complaining about how little money he's had to spend in his time at Liverpool, compared to the loot at Alex Ferguson's disposal in the same period.
"In my five years, I've paid less in transfer fees than I've received, even though I spent £40 million on Fernando Torres and Robbie Keane," he said, "it's as simple as that. We've made a team that can compete with them, but economically we're inferiors and can't afford the players they can."
His claim that he had "paid less in transfer fees than I've received" had the folk at Football 365 scratching their heads, so they put their calculators to work. How much has Rafa spent since becoming Liverpool manager? €224,916,585. And received in fees? €109,427,628. Net spend? €115,488,956. Ferguson's net spend in the same period? €104,147,686. Sounds like Rafa's abacus is malfunctioning.
Quotes of the week
“The staff came in and said ‘Clive Clarke has had a heart attack at Leicester’. I said, ‘Is he okay? I’m shocked they found one, you could never tell by the way he plays’.”
– Roy Keane on his former Sunderland player.
“He had been there (at Stoke City). I swear he actually thought he was Stanley Matthews coming back to them. . . kissing everybody. He got back on the bus with presents for his baby, delighted with himself.”
– Keane on Clarke again.
“The day I walked into Sunderland, putting a smile on the faces of well-paid players was the last thing anybody wanted me to do . . . if they wanted them smiling all the time they should have employed Roy Chubby Brown.”
– Keane once more.
I had death threats . . . I wasn't too sure with some of them – a couple were written in crayon.
– Birmingham’s Martin Taylor wondering about the age profile of some of those who wrote to him after his leg-breaking challenge on Arsenal’s Eduardo a year ago.
“Last week we were as piss poor as we’ve ever been at Burnley. There’s no positives you can get out of a run like this. Let’s not dance around it, it’s shite form. We’ve been dire, but someone else must be too because we’re still top.”
– Mick McCarthy on Wolves’ dodgy recent form.
Video evidence reveals all
WHEN WE read the reports about the brawl in the Brazilian club game between Brasil and Ulbra, when just the seven players were sent off for kicking, punching and the like, we couldn’t but admire Brasil president Elder Lopes who, according to himself, did his very best to end the fighting.
“I tried to calm our players so that we did not suffer more serious consequences, he said. Fair dues.
But wait! In video footage of the melee (YouTube’s your only man) who’s that running on the pitch aiming a kick at an Ulbra player? Mr Lopes?
Tut, tut.
A snip at the price
“Yulia first approached me when she found out that I was doing hair styles for Russia’s leading figure skaters and the former Miss Universe . . . she told me I was someone she could trust to work on her husband's hair . . . Ive changed his style from glamorous Vidal Sassoon to simple ‘streetwise guy’.”
– Andrei Arshavin’s hairdresser Denis Volkov, who will fly from St Petersburg to London “when necessary” to cut his client’s hair.
Seriously.
Rock solid support
September 2007:Michael Owen, along with the rest of his Newcastle team-mates, wore a "Rock Steady" sweatshirt while warming up for a game, as a symbol of support for the club's sponsor, Northern Rock.
February 2008:Northern Rock was taken into state ownership after being forced to ask the Bank of England for emergency funding, triggering the first run on a British bank in more than a century.
April 2008:"Stanford is a company that has a solid track record in financial services and wealth management. I'm proud to be associated with the Stanford brand and delighted they've asked me to serve as one of their global ambassadors." (Michael Owen).
February 2009:Texas billionaire Allen Stanford and three of his companies have been charged with "massive ongoing fraud" as federal agents swooped on his US headquarters. "We are alleging a fraud of shocking magnitude," said Rose Romero of the US Securities and Exchange Commission.
So, if you ever need any financial or investment advice, you know who not to call.
More quotes of the week
"I am new in Spain so I try to stay short of kicking someone. But against Liverpool, if I have the chance, maybe."
– Real Madrid's Lassana Diarra promises Javier Mascherano a warm welcome in Spain on Wednesday.
The television in England is very good . . . there is a programme called Dancing On Ice . . . it is very artistic and elegant to watch. Sometimes the celebrity will fall over, which can be amusing. One day perhaps you may see me on the programme, too.
– Don't do it Fernando Torres.
I dont like English dishes. At the Spurs training ground, the food is modest . . . but since my wife joined me in London its not a problem for me any more. She is a good cook and now I eat at home . . . I now feel as if I never moved countries.
– Spurs' Roman Pavlyuchenko bids adieu to bangers and mash.
