"Stress has always been around but I thought it related more to a 29-year-old at Rochdale with a mortgage and three children who had only three months left on his contract. I wonder what someone like him is making of all this."

- A bemused John Gregory, Aston Villa manager, responding to Stan Collymore's claims that he is suffering from stress.

"Collymore is a complete nutcase. He's the type of person who needs counselling. And I hope he is getting some good help because he needs it. He isn't a very stable guy."

- Gun Brodie, mother of Ulrika Jonsson (Collymore's ex-girlfriend), saying what John Gregory was thinking.

Gary Lineker: "You were the man who signed Stan Collymore for Aston Villa - do you view that as a mistake now?" Brian Little: "No, not yet."

"I hate cheese. I was brought up on solids, me. No old dairy produce rubbish. I think the nearest cow out our way belonged to a Mrs Hand who lived up the Wicklow mountains."

- Robbie Keane (right) ruins his chances of winning a sponsorship deal from Bord Bainne.

"All these Viallis, Vieiras and Viagras - I don't know who they all are these days. I like names like Cullis and Wright."

- Wolverhamton owner Sir Jack Hayward on foreigners with funny names. Who does Viagra play for then?

"My only worry is that he's playing with my inheritance money. When he goes, I get it, so he had better be careful."

- Paul Dalglish frets about father Kenny's plans to buy Celtic.

"In France we have a saying - `when you fill a vase with water, it only takes one drop to make the water overflow'."

- Arsenal's Emmanuel Petit, em, talking about being picked on by referees this season. And you thought Cantona was odd?

"I have become boring now. I try to get a buzz out of a game of snooker and I've taken up bingo."

- Gazza on life after booze. Bingo? Yikes.