A round-up of today's other soccer stories, in brief ...

Sort of lost in translation

THE vote was close - 23 to 21 - but Mohamed bin Hammam, the president of the Asian Football Confederation, held on to his seat on Fifa's executive committee last week. Based on events earlier in the week we're guessing South Korea's Chung Mong-joon, one of eight Fifa vice-presidents, congratulated Hammam as warmly as Didier Drogba saluted the referee at Stamford Bridge on Wednesday.

"I am afraid Mr Hammam may be a sick person . . . it looks like he is suffering from mental problems. I want to advise him to consider going to hospital," Chung had told the press the day before the vote.

Those comments hinted at a less than cordial working relationship, as did remarks by Hammam in March which, when translated from Arabic, suggested he had a desire to "cut off the head" of a South Korean FIFA official. Chung had a notion Hammam was talking about him and complained, but Hammam reassured him he didn't mean it literally. "Languages are rich enough to have different meanings. It's the same kind of thing when you say 'break a leg' in English," he said.

Reynoso spits out the truth

THE players of Mexican club Chivas Guadalajara were less than pleased with the reception that greeted them in Chile when they turned up for a Copa Libertadores game with Everton de Chile, complaining locals had jeered and mocked them about swine flu when they went shopping in a local mall.

Things were no better come match time, the Mexicans revealing their hosts taunted them about their country's most famous current export, to the point where Hector Reynoso could take no more. What did he do with his pent up anger? He spat it out. Alas, literally.

"At around the 90th minute of the aforementioned game, Reynoso, following an incident in the game, reacted by spitting at Everton player Sebastian Penco and then releasing nasal secretions at the face of the player," read the statement issued by the South American Football Confederation (CSF). "This situation, lamentable in its own right, was aggravated by the risk of a possible infection of the disease AH1N1."

And true enough, according to Reynoso himself, after spitting and releasing his nasal secretions in Penco's direction he informed the player he did, in fact, have swine flu. (Which he doesn't). "These are just things that sometimes happen in football," he explained. "I infected no one - people must relax."

Barcelona see the justice

WERE Barcelona folk apologetic last week for their, eh, good fortune at Stamford Bridge? Well . . .

"Sometimes football is generous towards the virtuous and cruel to the evil." El Pais reporter Ramon Besa.

"It's not just luck, it's a sort of justice because football loves football." Barcelona president Joan Laporta.

"God writes straight with crooked lines." Alfredo Relano, writing in AS.

That's a no, then.

Quotes of the week

"For me the sight of the red London buses is what my first thoughts of England were. My nieces and nephews would love to play on one, so I'm going to buy one for them."

- Cristiano Ronaldo on his plans to buy a big red double-decker. Wonder what his Madrid neighbours will make of it parked in their street?

"Are we going to say, 'you're from Spain, you might be okay but the rest of you - Switzerland, France, Poland, Russia, Austria, Ukraine, Slovenia, Serbia - can go **** yourselves because you don't count?' It's nonsense."

- Fulham manager Roy Hodgson on Jamie Redknapp's declaration that a referee from Norway isn't fit to officiate in the Champions League.

"Lots of people tell me that I look like him. He has actually influenced my choice of hairstyle and I have even studied the way he smokes so I can hold my cigarette in the same way."

- Dimitar Berbatov inadvertently explains why he can seem a little breathless in games, while talking about his "double", actor Andy Garcia.

"93 Minutes: Maestro Iniesta: Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool!"

- The headline on the front page of El Mundo Deportivo - the Guardian counted 32 Os, we'll take their word for it.

"It's a load of crap - and you can quote me on that. If anything it's a media conspiracy against Uefa."

- Uefa general secretary David Taylor on suggestions there was a conspiracy to deny Chelsea a place in the Champions League final.

"I do not know if he is a referee or a thief.There are no words to describe the person that was on the pitch here."

- Chelsea's Jose Bosingwa following last Wednesday's Champions League exit after defeat to Barcelona.

"I regret describing the referee as a thief. Having had some time to reflect, I would like to withdraw those comments."

- Chelsea's Jose Bosingwa after a chat with the Chelsea powers-that-be.

"Cor, they've changed the rules. There are no penalties any more and someone forgot to tell Chelsea because they just kept on appealing for them."

- Tomas Guasch writing in Spanish newspaper AS. Tomas, incidentally, is alleged to be a Real Madrid fan.