Planet Football

A round-up of today's other stories in brief

A round-up of today's other stories in brief

King Robbie

Football 365 has the happy habit of producing blinding look-a-likes but we reckon they've truly struck gold with this one - on the left is Richard III, King of England between 1483 and 1485, on the right is Robbie Keane. Or is it the other way around? Uncanny.

Caught on camera

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It is, you'll have noticed, not entirely uncommon for players to claim they were misquoted when their reported comments get them in to a heap of trouble.

Eric Djemba-Djemba tried this particular trick last week when he was quoted in several papers criticising his manager, David O'Leary.

O'Leary hauled the midfielder in for a 'chat' after reading the remarks but Djemba-Djemba insisted he was innocent. "I didn't say the manager needed to change anything. I wouldn't say that sort of thing. I wouldn't question his tactics. He was shocked. He knows if I've anything to say, I go to him," he said.

O'Leary accepted the player's word. "I was surprised with Eric, he likes the club, the fans and myself so he wouldn't come out with those remarks," he said.

"I had to speak to him about it but he's not the sort of lad to come out with that rubbish."

And was that that? Well, no. Djemba-Djemba had a bit of a problem: all his quotes were taken from an interview with Eurosport . . . a video interview.

As the headline on their website put it, 'Djemba-Djemba in video pickle'. And when you clicked play, oh dear.

"What's wrong at Aston Villa," he was asked. "I think it's the manager," he said, "because the manager needs to change the team . . . if he doesn't try to do something, maybe we will go to the first division." And on it went.

Saturday? Djemba-Djemba was left behind when Villa travelled to Sunderland.

Quotes of the week

"I feel for Roy's poor dog. It's only just got over the World Cup walkathon."

- A Liverpool-supporting contributor to the website Shankly Gates.

"As England goalkeeper you are always there to be shot at."

- Paul Robinson. Well, yes.

"Like I say all the time, we talk more about it (his future at Arsenal) than you talk about Eastenders."

- Thierry Henry, the Peggy Mitchell of Highbury.

"We did a bit of abseiling and a bit of climbing. I think when you start treating them like a bunch of tarts then you can't be surprised when they start acting in that way."

- Manchester City boss Stuart Pearce whose players left their handbags behind when they went to the Peak District for a boot camp.

"He is 19 but has got a 27-year-old's head on his shoulders."

- Winston Martin, chairman of Toolstation Western League side Torrington, after appointing 19-year-old Mike Small as manager.

Romanov shines

We're not altogether sure we'd like to work for him but we're beginning to take a shine to Hearts owner Vladimir Romanov, largely because of the rather entertaining utterances he occasionally comes out with.

Last week was a case in point. Romanov is more than a little peeved that Anatoliy Byshovets, a former 'advisor' at Hearts, succeeded in persuading Lithuanian player of the year Andrius Gedgaudas to join the club he now coaches, Siberia's Tom Tomsk, rather than Hearts.

"I still have no idea how he ended up there," said Romanov. "What can you do? As the Russian saying goes: 'If you let the goat loose in the vegetable patch he'll eat your cabbages'." Quiet excellent, and very, very true.

More quotes of the week

"I am one of the best five managers in the country."

- Sheffield United manager Neil Warnock, still struggling with self-esteem issues.

"We'll see what comes of it. I've never been to Germany - the closest I've been is Denmark - but I'm up for it."

- Wigan's Jimmy Bullard (who has a German granny) issues a come-and-get-me plea to Jurgen Klinsmann. Jurgen, no doubt, will be impressed by Jimmy's affinity and familiarity with his nan's homeland.

"Liverpool waited until the last available minute to conclude their summer deals . . . I find it difficult to understand that type of desperate dealing."

- Jose Mourinho heaps praise on Rafa Benitez's work in the transfer market last summer.

"He can't be a mature adult, a scholar and all dignified at this stage of his life. He's young, he's successful and probably gets a lot of sex."

- Mike Tyson continues his support of Wayne Rooney.

"It's amazing. Not only have we made the World Cup tonight we've had John Travolta . . . in the changing room. We've been singing Grease songs and singing like Saturday Night Fever."

- Australia's Lucas Neill. The mind boggles.

Give a little respect

"It is going to be an even game, but Uruguay is going to obtain qualification" (Uruguay's Fabian Carini); "We will return home from Australia having qualified for the World Cup" (Uruguay's Dario Silva); "We are a big country with a rich past . . . we've got a divine right to play (in the World Cup finals).

Uruguay is Uruguay and the Australians should respect us for this . . . I do not know what type of game we can expect on Wednesday, but what I am sure of is that we will get to Germany" (Uruguay's Alvaro Recoba).

And, finally: "I feel great pain, I am at the lowest moment in my sporting life today" (Uruguayan coach Jorge Fossati after losing out on penalties to Australia. Australia is Australia and Uruguay really very probably should have respected them for this).

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan is a sports writer with The Irish Times