The rewriting of history is not something that is unique to Stalin and his ilk. In Wednesday's Northern Ireland match programme the new manager Lawrie McMenemy listed his previous managerial career as "Doncaster, Grimsby and Southampton, and I had 3 1/2 years with England B and under-21s."
But there appeared to be no mention of the England senior team, who ignominiously failed to qualify for the World Cup finals during his tenure as Graham Taylor's number two, or Sunderland whom McMenemy took down to the old third division.
Diego Maradona's second goal against England in the 1986 World Cup quarter-final - following his infamous `Hand of God' opener - has been voted the greatest goal of all time, according to the credible English football magazine FourFourTwo.
As if saloon bars were not already well over the legal limit with pointless discussions, footballers past and present selected their three favourite goals with the Argentinian's effort being the runaway winner - polling twice as many votes as runner-up Marco Van Basten.
Van Basten's strike, for Holland against the USSR in the 1988 European Championship, was voted just ahead of David Beckham's halfway line lob against Wimbledon in the 1996/7 English Premiership-season opener.
A few celebrities, however, disagreed with the selection. Although he agreed that that Maradona's goal was the greatest, German World Cup legend Franz Beckenbauer voted for Pele's World Cup final goal against Italy in 1970 as the second.
Former England striker Gary Lineker again selected Maradona's as the best, but he felt Paul Gascoigne's strike for Spurs in the 1991 FA Cup final was the runner-up. Looking at the following list, the poll appears to be a Premiership stitchup with half of the names being English players. Clearly no good goals are ever scored in Russia, Germany, Italy or the entire continent of Africa.
The Best ?
1, Diego Maradona, Argentina v England (World Cup quarter-final, 1986).
2, Marco Van Basten, Holland v USSR (European Championship final, 1988).
3, David Beckham, Wimbledon v Manchester United (FA Premiership,
1996/7).
4, Carlos Alberto, Brazil v Italy (World Cup final, 1970).
5, Trevor Sinclair, QPR v Barnsley (FA Cup fourth round, 1996/7). 6, Roberto Carlos, Brazil v France (Le Tournoi, 1997).
7, Geoff Hurst, England v West Germany (World Cup final, 1966).
8, Pele, Brazil v Italy (World Cup final, 1970).
9, Ronnie Radford, Hereford v Newcastle (FA Cup third round, 1971/2).
10, John Barnes, Brazil v England (friendly, 1984).
"Women are for loving, not hitting," said Henry Cooper in the aftermath of boxer Jane Couch winning her case of sex discrimination against the British Boxing Board of Control (BBBC) for not allowing her to box in Britain.
Cooper, who will be fondly remembered for putting Cassius Clay (Muhammad Ali) on the canvas before being beaten some 30 years ago and for his aftershave ads, is clearly at odds with his sporting colleagues Frank Bruno (boxing), Paul Gascoigne (soccer) and Geoff Boycott (cricket), all of whom clearly believe that women are for beating as well as occasionally loving.
The self-serving outrage in Britain that has greeted Couch's court victory is typical of the retarded evolutionary rate that sports bodies seem to happily adopt these days. Lords cricket ground and the Professional Footballers Association (PFA) have both discriminated against women. Golf clubs have a legendry run of form in that respect.
Athletics illustrates a backwardness that is difficult to fathom, except by way of an antediluvian culture. Originally, women couldn't run over 400 metres hurdles (too strenuous). Now they do. Women couldn't take part in long distance races (bodies too frail). Now they do. Women couldn't compete in the pole vault (too weak). Now they do.
Now women shouldn't box (too distasteful). Well thank you Jane Couch and two fingers to the purveyors of chauvinism in the BBBC, the PFA and Lords - now they do.
This week in 1889 the World featherweight boxing contest between Ike Weir and Frank Murphy ended in a draw after 80 rounds. The fight was stopped by the police and is the longest world title fight under Queensberry Rules. Grrrrr . . . now that's when men were men.
Two projects are now well in hand regarding the publication of GAA and soccer material in Ireland. High Ball, the new Croke Park/ RTE venture edited by former Sun- day Tribune sports editor Eoghan Corry, will be on the shelves next month after its launch this month at GAA Congress. The new glossy colour magazine will come in to fill the void left by Gael Sport, which is reverting from a monthly magazine back to an annual publication.
High Ball, although exclusively GAA, is set to take on the raft of English publications such as Total Sport and FourFourTwo, which have hit Irish shelves in recent years. Despite having the sanction of Croke Park, High Ball promises to be more upbeat and somewhat more irreverent about the GAA and with a 30,000 print run hopes to sell on a scale never before achieved by an Irish sports magazine.
The other publication is a new soccer magazine called Kickin' and will also be launched next month, just before the Republic of Ireland's game against a Premiership side for the Paul McGrath testimonial match.
The monthly magazine, aimed at 15-to-24-year-olds, is the brain-child of a group of young people from Wexford who were formerly on the dole. George Best, incidentally, has taken another career change. The former Manchester United star has become involved in an unofficial monthly Manchester United magazine which was launched this week. The venture has so far proven successful with 130,000 copies ordered including 40,000 in Ireland.
Sam Torrance, in an effort to prolong his career as a golf professional, has given up the drink. Sam has decided that his new-found religion and drink were incompatible. Some of his fellow professionals have now taken to calling the amiable Scot the Cappuccino Cardinal and Reverend Evian, although, it has been stressed that he ain't no Born Again Christian.
